What About Santa?

I’ve tried, since moving to Pittsburgh, to be very precise with my address. When I give it out, I always give out the borough I live in, not the city of Pittsburgh. And, after making a point to find out, I add the four digits to the end of the zip code. Mail still gets directed the round about way and I still get other people’s mail (from the address in Bellevue that is the same as ours), but it seems to help.

I try to do the same when I order something I know will be delivered by UPS. But that doesn’t seem to yet alleviate the necessity of not only calling but also chatting online with a representative about a box that doesn’t get delivered. I use to think, when I lived in Texas, we had problems with the Fed Ex guy who was afraid to cross over the railroad tracks and explore down the winding dirt road we lived at the end of. But that’s nothing compared to the back-and-forth just trying to get a box on the right delivery truck.

When trying to explain to the rep in the chat room my dilemma of my address being identical to another address (minus the extra four digits of a zip code), she asked the very astute question: If there are two addresses exactly the same, how does anyone know where to deliver a box?

My point exactly.

But let’s look at the bright side: this problem has increased my prayer life. I pray a lot over my mail and boxes, that they will get delivered to my door. I’ve even prayed for the appearance of an electric bill that hasn’t shown. I mean, I don’t want my electricity turned off.

My sister Katey texted me earlier this week to ask for my address so she could ship something. I gave it to her very precisely and added that is of utmost importance to address is very precisely so the box has a chance to actually be delivered to my door. Her response?

“In Pittsburgh, I bet even Santa has trouble finding his way around – and he doesn’t have to use streets.”

Yep. In this city it doesn’t matter if you have a chimney or not. That’s a problem kids have worried about for decades but Santa seems to overcome. In Pittsburgh the problem is entirely directional. I mean, does the naughty kid live on Orchard Ave in Avalon or Bellevue? What if the nice kid gets nothing because Santa found the other address and not his?

Let’s just say I’m glad I’m not Santa.