I’m not a psychologist, but I would have to say that one’s sibings have one of the greatest impacts on your life. That would certainly be the case with my brother Daniel. In a multitude of ways.
I certainly remember life before Daniel as I was about 6 ½ when he came around. The funny thing is, I don’t remember when he was born. He just suddenly was…and just as suddenly my life dramatically changed. Even more so, I would say, from when Katey was born or even when Christine was stillborn. Because he was a boy. The long desired son. And from my perspective, the epitome of all.
Talk about feeling displaced, although I didn’t realize then that I was feeling that way. I just knew, as time went along and Daniel grew old enough to catch a ball, help pump gas, go to the hardware store on a Saturday, and go fishing that those things were no longer within my realm – not even as a third wheel. They simply ceased to be a part of things I did and became things my brother did. My young, un-thought-out response? Take it out on Daniel.
So we didn’t grow up best friends. More often than not, we were bickering. Well, I was bickering. He wasn’t always picking a fight, but I chose to feel like just about everything he did was very annoying. As he grew older, I didn’t feel quite so much that way. The arrival of Caleb balanced things out a bit, and I felt rather sorry for Daniel. There are considerable drawbacks to being the long desired son. Being just one of a whole handful of girls wasn’t always so bad.
Daniel and I now have a hit-and-miss relationship, but I do enjoy the rare times I get to see him. And my kids think “Unc” is awesome. They don’t see him but once every other year or so (which may be for the best…I am grateful I don’t live too close so my kids get lizards for Christmas like their cousins), but they always enjoy being around him. And since Daniel has good taste in motorcycles, Ed always enjoys seeing him too!
Today Daniel is 35 years old, and I am grateful for him. Everyone needs a brother!
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