The other night I was reading Psalm 137, and it struck me that this psalm isn't joyful. It doesn't start joyful as the people are in captivity and they don't feel like singing. Nor does it end joyfully as they contemplate the destruction of those holding them in captivity. And yet it's a psalm.
We know that a psalm is sung. Some of us actually sing them in our churches. Others of us sing hymns, which is a psalm's close relation. Whether a psalm or a hymn, most of them praise God and talk of His wondrous ways, and what He has accomplished on our behalf. We are taught that the songs we sing in church are meant to praise and glorify God: the One we are singing to. And, somehow, we grow up with the impression that in order to do that rightly we sing with joy and happiness. Right?
In fact, giving a passing thought to music in general, the first thought is happy. But what about funeral dirges? Or the fact that some of the greatest composers ever were often in depressive moods? David wrote a psalm after falling into one great sin that led to several more or when he was surrounded by his enemies. William Cowper wrote "God Works in Mysterious Ways" after almost committing suicide. Joseph Scriven wrote "What a Friend we have in Jesus" after the death of not one, but two fiancees in a short period of time.
Last night in my class with the kids at church we read a devotional on another aspect of song. When King Jehoshaphat in the Bible faced an army much mightier than his own, he asked God in despair what he was to do. "Sing," God answered. "Send out your choir before your army and sing." The songs of praise the choir sang as the army march to battle caused such chaos in the enemy camp, the enemy killed one other. Victory for a song.
And isn't it true? Of course, we sing when we're happy. But it's also true that we sing when we're sad. Why? To make us happy. And, it's just as true that I sing when I need God's help. How many hymns come to mind when I'm facing a challenge I don't know how to solve...and what a comfort they are.
So sing! And then watch yourself smile.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
When one things leads to another...and another...and another...
Honestly, my weekend was supposed to be slow. Which is why I cleaned my rooms in the back of the house. Not exactly top to bottom, but everything was swept, and vacuumed, and mopped, and washed, and wiped down. Then I started in on some other rooms in my part of the house (just a simple cleaning) because someone is having a party up at the house this coming Saturday and things need to look decent. Next on my list was bringing wood up to the house. Some of the logs are quite heavy so I brought out the lawn mower and attached the little trailer to bring up a couple of loads and then a cart full of kindling from a pile outside the fence line. When I lost the trailer (I just put the pin in since I was only going back and forth in the yard), I thought I may as well mow some large patches just to make things look nice. Wouldn't take five minutes...until I realized how thick they were, which led to raking, which led to lugging a barrel full of grass outside the fence line. Between all that, laundry and some baking; I finally sat down a little after 3 to watch a movie and work on some Wednesday night stuff. No sooner did I have my markers out when my phone rang and a friend wanted to meet for the rest of the afternoon/evening just to hang out. Yes, I needed that nap Sunday afternoon!!!!
Work has been something like that today. I was expecting all the deaths over the weekend - no huge deal. I knew other things might come up, too. But sorting through one patient's folder of insurance claims in order to make an appeal wasn't on the to-do list originally. Neither was jumping hoops for our marketer until I got off the phone with her for the upteenth time and let out a sigh/growl.
"Having a Monday moment?" Linda called from her office.
"No," I replied. "I'm having a thank goodness our marketer is leaving for five or six weeks tomorrow because she's driving me crazy moment."
Linda laughed.
Things are quiet at the moment - probably the calm before the next storm. But it gives me a chance to blog. Maybe send out an e-mail, too. It's going to be a great evening to go out and hit a yellow ball with a racquet!
Work has been something like that today. I was expecting all the deaths over the weekend - no huge deal. I knew other things might come up, too. But sorting through one patient's folder of insurance claims in order to make an appeal wasn't on the to-do list originally. Neither was jumping hoops for our marketer until I got off the phone with her for the upteenth time and let out a sigh/growl.
"Having a Monday moment?" Linda called from her office.
"No," I replied. "I'm having a thank goodness our marketer is leaving for five or six weeks tomorrow because she's driving me crazy moment."
Linda laughed.
Things are quiet at the moment - probably the calm before the next storm. But it gives me a chance to blog. Maybe send out an e-mail, too. It's going to be a great evening to go out and hit a yellow ball with a racquet!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Amidst Floods and Heartaches
I probably try too hard to be practical. To face life as it comes. To be content with what I have and make the most of it. Some of that may come from moving constantly. When you do that, you just learn to lump it. Make friends - leave them. Start a project - leave it. Make a home - what's that? I sound callous. I'm not. It hurts.
So, I put up walls - or I try. That never seems to work out as well as I would like, although most people would probably say I am very hard to get to know. And I try very hard not to dream. Of course, I am a girl. I like fairy tales. I love happily ever afters. But you won't believe how hard I try to not think about them. They hurt.
You might think I'm talking about something very serious...I am. Something in my life I am trying to leave in God's hands and rest upon Him. Some days I do quite well at that. Others I'm just resigned. And, of course, there are tears and the inevitable Melissa-Sturm-trying-to-plan-for-every-contingency. Truth be told, I drive myself crazy.
On the other hand, what I'm talking about isn't so serious...but almost as difficult. You see, I have two favorite seasons: autumn and winter. And for the last three years, I haven't enjoyed either one. Because, you see, Texas doesn't have them. I don't mean they're not on the calendar (although if given the chance, Texans would have their own calendar) - they simply don't exist. This year our leaves were brown in July, thanks to no rain and scorching temperatures. No color, no crisp mornings, no stomping through leaves in the woods. And winter? People keep assuring me that February is on it's way and it will be winter...but when it's nearly 80 degrees out right now, all I want to do is sit down and sob. The lack of frigid mornings, grey skies and the hope of snow makes my heart ache. Literally.
On Wednesday night with the kids, we studied Martin Luther's "A Mighty Fortress is our God". As I read the first verse to them I realized how difficult the language of that hymn is for a 7-year-old. I tried to explain to the kids what "He amidst the floods of mortal ills prevailing" means because, of course, Matt said it was talking about the flood and Noah's ark. I explained it was a metaphor and asked if the kids knew what that meant. Matt pops back with, "Oh, we studied that in school. A metaphor is an example of two things with the comparison of 'like'." (Did I mention Matt is only 11?) After getting over the shock of that answer, I tried to explain that the "flood" in the hymn talks about bad things that happen to us that can seem as overwhelming as a literal flood. I asked if they had ever experienced something like that. In response, I got blank looks. Then 7-year-old Trinity shook her head. "No," she said. "Nothing like that has ever happened to me." All I could think was, "Oh, to be seven again!"
Sadly, one day those children will experience floods. And heartaches. They'll have tough decisions...and choose wrongly. Friends will hurt them or just leave their lives. Dreams will never come true. It's the way of a sinful world. And it hurts. But I pray those children know their Mighty Fortress and cling to Him. Some days it's the only thing that gets me through hard choices...and 80 degree temperatures in January.
So, I put up walls - or I try. That never seems to work out as well as I would like, although most people would probably say I am very hard to get to know. And I try very hard not to dream. Of course, I am a girl. I like fairy tales. I love happily ever afters. But you won't believe how hard I try to not think about them. They hurt.
You might think I'm talking about something very serious...I am. Something in my life I am trying to leave in God's hands and rest upon Him. Some days I do quite well at that. Others I'm just resigned. And, of course, there are tears and the inevitable Melissa-Sturm-trying-to-plan-for-every-contingency. Truth be told, I drive myself crazy.
On the other hand, what I'm talking about isn't so serious...but almost as difficult. You see, I have two favorite seasons: autumn and winter. And for the last three years, I haven't enjoyed either one. Because, you see, Texas doesn't have them. I don't mean they're not on the calendar (although if given the chance, Texans would have their own calendar) - they simply don't exist. This year our leaves were brown in July, thanks to no rain and scorching temperatures. No color, no crisp mornings, no stomping through leaves in the woods. And winter? People keep assuring me that February is on it's way and it will be winter...but when it's nearly 80 degrees out right now, all I want to do is sit down and sob. The lack of frigid mornings, grey skies and the hope of snow makes my heart ache. Literally.
On Wednesday night with the kids, we studied Martin Luther's "A Mighty Fortress is our God". As I read the first verse to them I realized how difficult the language of that hymn is for a 7-year-old. I tried to explain to the kids what "He amidst the floods of mortal ills prevailing" means because, of course, Matt said it was talking about the flood and Noah's ark. I explained it was a metaphor and asked if the kids knew what that meant. Matt pops back with, "Oh, we studied that in school. A metaphor is an example of two things with the comparison of 'like'." (Did I mention Matt is only 11?) After getting over the shock of that answer, I tried to explain that the "flood" in the hymn talks about bad things that happen to us that can seem as overwhelming as a literal flood. I asked if they had ever experienced something like that. In response, I got blank looks. Then 7-year-old Trinity shook her head. "No," she said. "Nothing like that has ever happened to me." All I could think was, "Oh, to be seven again!"
Sadly, one day those children will experience floods. And heartaches. They'll have tough decisions...and choose wrongly. Friends will hurt them or just leave their lives. Dreams will never come true. It's the way of a sinful world. And it hurts. But I pray those children know their Mighty Fortress and cling to Him. Some days it's the only thing that gets me through hard choices...and 80 degree temperatures in January.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
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