This is my baby brother...

...in 1996.

This is my baby brother...

...today.

Happy 18th Birthday, Caleb!

Scrapbooking/Quilting Retreats: The End

Well, as of tomorrow at noon, the spring quilting season is over. For me, it has been a learning experience in many ways. The top four things I learned: 

1. Flexibility
2. Don’t plan on getting much done
3. I’m rather ashamed of my own gender
4. There’s nothing that feels so good as saying, “No!”

The first thing I learned doesn’t need much elaboration. Women come at the last minute, or decide not to come for whatever reason. They add a day or drop one. They forget towels. The second lesson attaches itself easily to lesson one. There were moments when I wondered exactly how many times I needed to change a door sign. Or how I forgot so-and-so’s nametag. Or lost ladies as I rearranged spreadsheets. And since I had to do all that, I could just about plan the pile of registrations coming in the mail everyday would be a week old before I got them into the database. Not exactly the way I like to work, but flexibility is one of my lifelong lessons. Quilting has been another classroom.

I’m not sure how successful I am, but I’ve tried hard in my life to be low-maintenance. In a large family, it’s almost necessity. And my independent nature helps. But I learned this month that 90% of women are anything but low-maintenance. There were times I wanted to say to one of the ladies, “Really? Would you like me to tie your shoes, too?” I mean, I get the whole concept that these ladies are on retreat and we are there to serve them. But, I hate to break it to them, not one of them is the queen of England. Or even Princess Kate. It made me feel ashamed of my sex and wonder how high-maintenance I can be. I have to also say I can’t wait til Dads ‘n Lads the first weekend of May. For one, I don’t even have to do registration. I have to make a list and do door signs. After that, men don’t care as long as you feed them. And even better, they don’t care what you feed them.

The last one happened late last week. A lady called to say she was arriving at this last quilt session on Sunday and was to leave on Tuesday. Could she possibly extend her stay til Wednesday? “No, ma’am,” I told her as apologetically as I could possibly sound. “The retreat ends on Tuesday.” That was very hard to do when I was happily shouting inside, “No! You have to go home! Quilt is over! And I’m going on vacation!” It never felt so good to say, “NO!”

So, quilt is over and I am truly going on vacation. First, Lisa is taking Andrea and I out all day Wednesday. We’re going to eat and shop…and call it a work day. On Thursday afternoon, I fly to New Hampshire for a long weekend which I will spend mostly with my new nephew (okay, yes, my sister will be around, too) and over at Allyson’s with her most wonderful children. That will be my retreat. And I don’t anything at all except time to chase kids around and sit holding a baby. All of which is much better than quilting.

Minnesota:From the Perspective of a Nomad, Part 4

Everybody knows that people in Minnesota have an accent. It’s a heavy accent, especially on the vowels. I wanted to say to the cashier the first weekend I was here if she asked in a plastic bag would be okay, “Um, sure. But it’s a baaag.”

It’s almost as if they get their O’s and A’s mixed up. I lived with one of the girls I work with the first five weeks I was here. She was born and raised in Minnesota…and you can tell. The funniest exchange we had was the first week I was here and we were headed home from work.

“I wish I had a crackpot,” Andrea said.

“A what?” I asked…for I do know what a “crackpot” is and I wasn’t thinking Andrea wanted to started growing crack in the basement.

“A crackpot,” she repeated.

I shook my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know. A slow cooker.”

“Oh!” The light dawned. “A crockpot,” I said, careful to hold my O’s for all they were worth.

The joke became even funnier when I got a crockpot the next week for my birthday….

There have been many times I can’t understand what Andrea is trying to tell me, but she has the same trouble with my accent. The difference is, she envies me mine. I’m practicing every day to keep my Southern accent – I don’t want hers.

The rounded O’s, heavy A’s and funny sounding “Yahs” make listening to the people in the office odd. Another overused phrase is, “Does that make sense?” I think that comes more from the Dakotas, but I’ve gotten a little tired of hearing it…for since I am learning new things, I hear it A LOT!!!! But the most overused word in all of Minnesota is “so”. It comes at the end of about every sentence.

“I took my dog on a walk, so…” 

“I put that on your desk, Melissa, so…”

“It’s snowing again, so…”

I have yet to not sit and wait for the sentence to be finished. Worse, I thought I overused that word and have been trying to stop. This was not a good move to break that habit.

Alongside their funny accent are names I’ve never heard or thought died off in the 19^th century with the immigrants from the Scandinavian countries. First, every other person up here has a last name that ends in “son” or “sen”: Anderson, Larson, Johnson, Peterson, Haraldson, etc. You won’t believe how many I have in my database! And then there are the first names I’ve only read in books from the 1800s like Lars or Anders, which are top contenders for most popular boy’s names. I’ve learned a couple of girls names I’ve never even heard before: Ardis and Arlys. I think they’re rather pretty, although I can’t say “Arlys” without thinking of Old Yeller.

Growing up, my mother always said we were bilingual: Southern and Yankee. I am now adding a third language to my vocabulary: Nothern/Midwestern. But be forewarned: I’m not quite ready to interpret yet.

My Job: A Camp Registrar

I had many people ask me before I moved here what exactly I would be doing. Like most jobs, I didn’t truly know until I delved into it. Now I can – more or less – tell you.

• Put registrations into the database. This is not quite as easy as it may sound. For one, I am never registering people for only one event. Right now I have registrations in the mail for summer camps, family camps, Mother/Daughter retreat. Dads ‘n Lads retreat and senior retreat. I get between fifteen and twenty registrations a day. As the April 1 deadline for early bird summer comes up, I’ll be getting more like thirty. I guess the good news is I get more mail than anyone else in the office!
• Answer the phone. That’s a given. It’s the worst part of my job, although I am told I have excellent phone skills. (I think it’s the “yes, ma’am” and “no, sir” – no one else says that up here.) I have learned over the years to talk like you know what you’re talking about even if you’ve no clue, so I can fumble through answering most questions. My favorite people to talk to are the one’s coming to senior retreat in May. Because I was in last month’s newsletter, they address me by name and talk to me like I’m a new grandchild. They even include personal notes in their registrations!
• Answer my e-mail. Actually, this is worse than the phones. I get well over twenty e-mails a day – seems more like a hundred. Most are simple answers. They just take time. I almost dread pulling up my e-mail every day since I know it takes a good hour to get through it all…an hour when I could be imputing registrations.
• Assist in women’s ministries. This has been my biggest learning curve. I’m not a people person. I like the safety of my desk. Welcoming ladies, and making sure they’re needs are met, and gabbing about who knows what is a little out of my league. But my part of the job also includes nametags, linen labels, door signs, turn over (cleaning up in a matter of hours before the next bunch of ladies comes in), and maintaining the registrations list. None of it is quite as easy as it sounds when it comes to women….
• Making deposits. That sounds easy, I know. Gather all the checks in my desk, add them up and put them in the nigh drop-off box. While that part is true, because each retreat/camp belongs under it’s own account number, there are reports to run and spreadsheets to enjoy so Marc and Eric know how much money and where it is. I also have to do this for the credit cards we run. Working with all the money again reminds me I never wish to be an embezzler. Too much work.
• Supervise Andrea. She’s my assistant. But she’s also Lisa’s assistant. So during quilt retreats, I don’t get the services of Andrea. I can’t wait until I do. I have this pile of registrations…she’s not as quick as me, but even if she does a quarter of the pile that’s less for me!
• Attend meetings. Everyone is at the weekly staff meeting. But I also meet with Eric (my boss) once a week (for a good five minutes to tell him how things are going, although he’s quickly learned I don’t say much about that). I need to meet with Bill about senior retreat and family camp. I often have sessions with Marc about money or tech stuff. And meetings with Lisa are always twice as long as planned. To think in Texas I wanted to attend the weekly meeting ever so often. Now I’ve had enough meetings in one month to make up for those three years!
• And everything else office related: mailing labels (I produce TONS of those between everyone trying to do mailings), order supplies (I even have my own credit card!), run the postal meter, get the mail (most of the time) and find whatever it is the guys can’t find (which makes no sense – they’ve all been here years longer than I have).

While still on a slight learning curve, all in all I enjoy this job very much. As you can see, it has a lot of variety. Except for getting the deposit done on Thursdays, my days have no routine. In fact, what I want to get done only happens half the time. While much of my time is spent imputing data and creating things from that data, I also get to be creative when it comes to nametags, and door signs, and other things for retreats. I’m no graphic artist, but I like to play around with what little I do know. There is never a dull moment…but if I do ever get one of those, I’m sorting all the supply cabinets. The truth is, there’s a reason the guys can’t find anything. And that is something I can do with no training at all!

Minnesota: From the Perspective of a Nomad, Part 3

Winter. I think next week contains the first day of spring. And Minnesota will still be covered with snow. We got some yesterday and there's more coming on Monday. While everyone up here keeps saying they're ready for spring, I'm happy it's still winter!

Winter up here contains two major things: snowmobiling and ice fishing. Minnesota is the land of 10,000 lakes. And every single one of the 10,000 has ice fishers on it. You see them out there, their trucks pulled out on the ice, or tents set up, or even trailers. They live out their all weekend, some of them all week. I've never seen anything quite like that. And while I wouldn't want to spend my time out on the lakes in the cold temperatures catching fish, it's neat to see.

As for snowmobiling, I've seen those quite a bit. But not hundreds of them. Speeding along the roads, parked at restaurants for a bite to eat, pulled into gas stations to fill up before they go out again. It's enough to make me want to purchase one of my own. And spend all day Saturday riding. Like today. While a bit cold, it was bright and sunny with fresh snow. Would have been a lovely way to spend a day off.

I think the funniest thing I've seen is a recreation sign. One of those brown and white signs pointing to a park, or campsite, or place to play. I've seen many as we all have. But this one was new: a kid on a snowtube. It points the way to a good place to snowtube. Like at camp. Although I haven't been yet. Maybe after the next snow. :)