Titles

Titles are really fascinating things. They tell us more than we realize. For instance, the titles given to people: Mr. (which is very general), Mrs. (for married women), Miss (for unmarried women), Dr. (for who knows what exactly these days as you can a doctorate in anything under the sun) and Ms. (which just tells you how depraved we are when women don’t want to be considered married even if they are). And, if you’re in England, there is duke, lord, king, queen, prince and all those lovely royal titles. For those who love college, there are all kinds of letters you can tag on to the end of your name which the rest of us can’t interpret but that’s okay if writing out half the alphabet makes you happy.

Books are the same way. Think about the famous titles of books we all know:

The Grapes of Wrath: This is a tale about people during the Dust Bowl of the west which occurred during the Great Depression. But with a title like that, I used to think it was a murder mystery that occurred in a vineyard.

Wuthering Heights: In America this title confuses us because we don’t use the word “wuthering” as the British do. It is a term used to describe the sound of the wind whipping across the moors. Thus, this book occurs out in the middle of the moors of England. Most of us also know it is an epic romance of Catherine and Heathcliff. But if you have read it, you know it is the awful tale of passionate love gone awry and deadly revenge. It’s awful. If you must read a Bronte, read Jane Eyre.

Of Mice and Men: A classic because of its title more than its contents. It’s a tragic story of two migrant workers, but it’s easy to imagine it might be about rodents and their owners, or lab creatures and scientists, or even men who are scared of tiny, furry animals.

Richard II and III, Henry IV, V, VI and VIII: Pretty self explanatory. Each play is about the man of the title. Shakespeare had a lot of creativity, but not when it came to entitling plays about kings. He also didn’t have a titling committee at his publishing company.

I’m sure you can think of hundreds of other titles that are intriguing, self-explanatory, practical or even bizarre. But have you ever met one that made you laugh? I did on Saturday at a used bookstore in town. And with a title like that, it was worth plucking down four dollars. I just hope the book is as good as the title:

The Faceless Fiend: Being a Tale of a Criminal Mastermind, His Masked Minions and a Princess with a Butter Knife, Involving Explosives and a Certain Amount of Pushing and Shoving