Yes, Texans drive me crazy – for many reasons. At the top of that list is their inflated pride. Only in Texas do you see bumper stickers that read, “I wasn’t born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could.” I want one that reads, “I wasn’t born in Texas, and you couldn’t pay me enough to stay.”
So I really had to laugh this Sunday when I was reading the newspaper. I came across an article on O. Henry, the famous short-story writer renowned for his surprise endings. The writer of the article was lamenting that the 100th anniversary of O. Henry’s death was not celebrated in Texas this past June. It certainly should have been, the writer declared, for was not O. Henry practically a Texan? I think the writer just wanted him to be one.
The fact is that O. Henry spent only sixteen or so of his forty-seven years in Texas. That’s about one-third of his life. Granted, the highlights of his life occurred in Texas. He married, had two children (one whom died in infancy) and supposedly embezzled funds from the bank he worked for in Austin which sent him to prison in Ohio for several years. After that, he never came back to Texas. I don’t blame him.
Another fact is that of O. Henry’s 274 stories, 43 of them take place in Texas. The writer of the article pointed that out as if it was so great thing for the state of Texas, but perhaps he didn’t do the math on that. That’s a mere 16% of his stories. And it doesn’t include O. Henry’s most famous “The Gift of the Magi”. And, actually, the most poignant thing O. Henry had to state about Texas is not very flattering. He warned tourists who might come here in August: “Take up your scalpyouler, and sever the jugular vein, cut out the brachiopod artery and hamstring him, after he knows what you have done for him he will rise up and call you blessed." Amen.
If you ask me, it’s no wonder the 100th anniversary of O. Henry’s death came and went without comment (except probably in literary circles) in the state of Texas. But Texas is like that. They borrow heroes where they can find them, chalk them up as Texans and hope nobody notices.
For instance, did you know that the Texas State Capitol building is the tallest in America? This is because of the Goddess of Liberty statue which graces the top of its dome. Originally installed as the building was completed in 1888, it was replaced with an aluminum replica in 1986 so the original would not fall off and be destroyed. When it came time to place the replica on top, no helicopter company could be found in all the grand state of Texas to do so. They had to call a crew from Tennessee. Of course, it would never do to have Tennesseans put a statue on the top of the Texas capitol. So, they were sworn in as Texas citizens for the day.
I guess the powers to be forgot that Tennesseans gave them their beloved state. Davy Crockett was born there and Sam Houston considered that state his own, although born in Virginia. Texas’s other heroes? William Barrett Travis was from South Carolina, Jim Bowie from Kentucky and Stephen Austin (“The Father of Texas”) hailed from Virginia. Even the Bush family is not from Texas. Both junior and senior were born in New England.
Naturally, borrowing history is not purely a Texas thing. How many places along the east coast boast “Washington Slept Here”? I just wish Texas would remember that it doesn’t have the monopoly on greatness. It doesn’t have to claim every famous person that walked through its desert as Texan. It might want to stop and consider that without America, it wouldn’t be. For the armies who came to fight against Mexico did not consider themselves Texans. They fought for America. And, later, they fought America’s Civil War. O. Henry didn’t write to glorify Texas. He is an American author. And, if I’m ever famous, the only thing Texas gets is a credit as a stomping ground – literally.
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