Courting to Dueling: Antiquated Etiquette Guides

Thus was the title of an e-mail I received this week. Usually I don’t look at the e-mails from that particular book seller just because they’re never advertising anything that catches my interest. But I must admit this one did. So, I opened it.

The first two books they advertised were by Mrs. Humphry in 1898. One was entitled Manners for Men (which includes how to behave at a dinner party, proper dueling etiquette and advice on how to court and marry a woman). The other was entitled A Word to Women (which guides women in how to dress, and what to read, and how to manage servants – something I certainly need to know).

Further links led to an even more fascinating selection of reading material I probably need to rush out and purchase as soon as possible lest I fail miserably in some way either during courtship or when facing a duel. I think the most helpful ones to me personally will be:

· A Pocket Guide to Croquet – I definitely need help with my swing…not that it would be of much use since I don’t have a croquet set

· Hold ‘Em Girls: The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Men and Football - the synopsis states this will educate me on the game of football so I won’t ruin some man’s enjoyment of the game by asking foolish questions…in case my dad’s lessons weren’t enough

· Advice to Young Men and (Incidentally) to Young Women – the synopsis states, “Advice including why it’s necessary to cure the vices of wives as soon as possible and why reading is detrimental to women…” I wonder what the cure for my vices are, for I am long past being a fallen woman if reading to detrimental to me

· How Men Propose – I understand this one is divided into sections such as the youthful proposal, the humble proposal, the failed proposal, etc…how have I lived 31 years without this one? Of course, I’ve never been proposed to either…

Obviously, my library is lacking. As is, apparently, my education. But, of course, reading is detrimental to a woman. Therefore, I shouldn’t be reading any of these books at all. But then how am I to learn these absolutely necessary lessons if I can’t read the books? Watch them on youtube? After that, I can probably write a book entitled: Courting to Dueling: Practical Advice to Young Women who aren’t Allowed to Read Books and (Incidentally) to Young Men – all to be Found on Youtube.

Disclaimer: Honestly, these titles are not April Fool’s jokes! For that, check out google…