Today is...

• Officially: St. Valentine’s Day. Supposedly the celebration of love, but somehow it ends up being that only if you have someone special who loves you. Which just about defines the world’s view of love. Although I won’t go into the world’s definition of “someone”. I’ll leave that to the politicians.

• “That Catholic/Hallmark Holiday”. So a friend described it to me this week. Catholic is a given. Tag “saint” to something and it’s got to be Catholic, right? But if you know any Catholic history, you know that Catholics actually have a saint for every day of the year (and then some). In fact, if you lived during the dark ages you celebrated the day of the saint you were named after and not your own birthday. (That could be good for some of us – I’d never get a year older that way.) Mr. Valentine just got lucky (along with Mr. Patrick) and gets his name tagged to a day by non-Catholics, too. I wonder, does that make him more saintly than the other saints?

• Hallmark, of course, is defined as “cards”. And while greeting card sells sky rocket for this holiday, the Hallmark corporation must share it’s loot with candy makers, stuffed bear producers and florists. I’m not against cute cards, but there are some things out there one just has to wonder who got paid to create the thing. Like yesterday at the gas station when I saw rose buds three feet long. Not real rose buds, mind you. Stuffed ones. Like a teddy bear only in the shape of a rose. Really…who has the patent on that ugly thing?

• “Singleness Awareness Day”. This is the politically correct version of today’s holiday. Because in today’s world we have to be aware of everything. And then once we’re aware of it, we must celebrate it. Which means every day I celebrate “Brush-Your-Hair-Yet-Again Awareness Day” and “You-Need-To-Be-At-Work-By-Eight Awareness Day”. Some days I celebrate “The-Fog-Light-On-My-Car-Needs-To-Be-Fixed Awareness Day”, but some days I forget and so can’t celebrate it. On the other hand, I’ve been celebrating “Singleness Awareness Day” every day of my life for nearly 32 years. Who knew I was so politically correct!

• “Black Tuesday”. When I was about 19, I had a single woman who was probably in her late 20s tell me this is how she referred to Valentine’s Day. (For those of you who don’t know history, that’s the day the stock market crashed in 1929 and started the Great Depression.) She despised it. And yet by the next Valentine’s Day she was happily married and doubtlessly celebrating. However, I have tried this and I’m still single into my early 30s. Maybe if I got a bit more brutal and called the day “9-11” or the “Hiroshima” I’d have better luck.