Off the Charts

Yet another colloquialism in our English language: off the charts. We all know what it means. And, we all want to be there. It’s our human pride that tells us we don’t need to be where everyone else is. We need to be “off the charts”, somewhere in a grand place that makes us different and better. Of course, there are a couple of things wrong with that idea that immediately come to mind. One, if everyone is “off the charts” then aren’t we all on the same chart? And two, what chart are we measuring on anyhow?

In my life, I will probably never be off any chart. I’m pretty average in just about everyway. Average clothes size, average shoe size, average income, average height and weight, average skill set. And most days, that’s perfectly okay. I’m quite happy 99% of the time to fly under the radar. But I now have one thing to claim: I have a daughter who is off the charts.

I’m talking about those charts health professionals use to tell you what “percentile” your baby is in. This is a very wide chart of averages based upon a baby’s height, weight and month of life compared to all the other babies in the world of their same month of life. And considering there is a 100% bracket your baby can fall into every month, it doesn’t seem like a wonderfully accurate way of averaging your baby. (And who wants their baby averaged anyway? Don’t we all think each of our babies as being uniquely special and they are?) But doctors use them every time you step into the office.

At her fourth month appointment, Emry was way off the charts. At a mere nine pounds, fourteen ounces I could see the doctor’s concern. And yet she was happy, healthy and her low weight matched her tiny, petite features. I just needed to make sure she truly was eating enough.

Fast forward two months to her six month appointment this week. Emry has been eating solids for just over a month – bananas, peaches, carrots, yogurt, apples and (her favorite) butternut squash. Plus she does pretty well with chasing Cheerios around and shoving them into her mouth. To me, this little girl has grown like a weed. She’s heavier to carry around, she has nearly outgrown all her 0-3 month clothes and she just looks bigger. I’m almost worried she eats too much. I put her down on the scale at the doctor’s office and she weighs in at a whopping 12 pounds, 1 ounce – finally outdistancing her Uncle Caleb’s birth weight by an ounce. She has put on just over two pounds of weight. No wonder she feels heavy!

Then the doctor pulls up her chart on her computer and says, “She is still off the charts – well below the average.” And she is. You can see her little dot on the chart off in a white section all by itself. “But,” the petite little doctor continues, “she has grown well at her own average and seems to be quite healthy.”

And she is. She eats well. Her teeth are no longer bugging her. She got over her little illness. So, she’s back to being her happy, smiling, talkative self. She pushes herself around on her belly to get to the things she wants, she is now quite ticklish on her belly and she sleeps and naps well. And by the time she reaches 7 months next week, I think I will have packed away all her newborn clothes, although she swims in her 6-month outfits. Oh, well.  She is happy and healthy….and off the charts!