Raising a "Yinzer"

Recently I came across an article about how to properly raise a young “Yinzer” (aka: “Pittsburgher”). Since I guess I am reluctantly doing so, I thought I would give the article a good read. But before I get into my newest lessons in parenting, let me make perfectly clear two things:

1.     The meaning of “Yinzer”: It is a plural derived from first “You ones” to “Yuinzs” and so to “Yinzs”. Honestly, Pittsburghers, “Y’all” makes so much more sense…

2.     Clarification on the fact that I am not strictly raising a “Yinzer”. Since Ed is 100% Pittsburgher and since Emry was also born in Pittsburgh, I will say that she is 60% “Yinzer”. But since I am 0% Pittsburgher, there are certain things Emry MUST know. For instance, she has Southern roots and if the South ever does rise again, we are packing our bags and moving there ASAP. Secondly, New England is better than Pennsylvania any day.

So, that being said, let me share with you how a Pittsburgher is to be raised.

First, Pittsburgh has the best baseball team, football team and hockey team in the entire USA (if not world). That could be highly debatable since the Pirates haven’t won a World Series in my lifetime, although 2009 was a good year for the city with the Steelers winning the Super Bowl and the Penguins the Stanley Cup. And, granted, they do make things simple – every team has the same colors of black and gold. However, being Southern, who needs pro? College ball is 100 times better and Pittsburgh doesn’t have a candle to light in that arena. Emry can wear black and gold all she wants, but we will know how to say with passion: “Go Navy! Beat Army!”, “Go Big Orange!” and – as long as they’re not playing Tennessee – “Roll, Tide, Roll!”

Second, there are certain famous Pittsburghers Emry must know. I think we’re going to be okay with Mr. Rogers. I even know who Roberto Clemente was now. But go any further than that…well, I need a history lesson first. I don’t know who Mario Lemieux, Vic Clanca, the Rooneys, August Wilson or Teenie Harris are/were. I do know about Frick and Carnegie, but I’m a little rusty on the facts (no pun intended).

Third, I haven’t seen any of Pittsburgh’s museums, so I guess Emry and I will get those lessons together. I’m okay with the History Museum (well…if we see any blue clad Yankees, we’re going to give the Rebel cry in protest of history written wrongly), the Carnegie Science Museum and Natural History museum. But we’re going to entirely skip Andy Warhol. Emry understanding that he was a nut is sufficient.

Fourthly, proper driving/parking techniques. I’ve already made it quite clear that if we’re still here when Emry learns to drive, Ed is teaching her. This city makes no sense to drive in. Apparently, they have what is called a “Pittsburgh Left” which I think is the same as a “Massachusetts Left”. I’ve seen people in Massachusetts use it…I haven’t seen anyone in Pittsburgh try. But I do understand the importance of a parking chair. Emry will understand to never, ever touch one that doesn’t belong to her.

Fifth, she must know the proper way to twirl a Terrible Towel. She’s got that well in hand already – “Yinzers” must be born knowing that.

Sixth, I guess the foliage around here is wonderful to behold. I haven’t found it very impressive. We’re going to New England to see REAL autumn colors.

Seven, she must know that this city lived and died on one commodity alone: steel. Her ancestors worked in steel mills, the dirt and grime of them can still be seen on old buildings and that industry’s collapse left an entire city to die with it. Truly, it’s a history to be proud of. In many ways, I think the current Pittsburgh “renaissance” has ruined it.

Eight, “scratch-my-back-with-a-hacksaw” is apparently more than some silly inside joke Papa and Uncle David share. I’m not sure what, but it just might prove what an odd place this city is.

Nine, anything can be celebrated with fireworks. We haven’t yet been to First Night, but she has seen them on the 4^th. Honestly, if you have rivers like this city, you ought to have fireworks. My favorite display as a kid was in Jacksonville, Florida – right along the river. You can’t beat that.

Ten, there are quite a few things not in the article I read that I think are important. Such as proper language. I protest the nasally Pittsburgh accent. We don’t say “slippy”, “dahntahn” or “yinz”. Slippery, downtown (with a proper drawl on the vowels) and y’all will do. But I don’t mind “nebby” or “you can’t get there from here”. The first is just a perfect description of being a nosy neighbor while the second is so completely true in this city.

Also, there are unique things to know like what a Pittsburgh pottie is, or that the people in the South Hills despise the people in the North Hills and I would bet my life savings that there are old people from either side that have never been to the “other side”, or the names of the three rivers and which is which (I’m still getting them mixed up), or how many ridiculous taxes they nickel and dime you with, or coming through the Liberty Tunnel at night and seeing that city suddenly spread out before you. I’m not a fan of Pittsburgh and probably never will be, but that is one sight I could behold over and over again.

Happy Birthday to Me!

36 years old…when did that happen!?!?

"Cast Thy Law Behind Their Backs"

Sometimes I think Emry is going to be a tomboy. She makes more noises than any little boy I have ever known, discovering some new noise nearly every week. And she throws everything. She’s been throwing things since the time she could grasp them in her hand and fling them. Although my dad would say she throws like a girl…

Emry has always thrown the toys she is done playing with off as far as she can toss them. If they don’t go far enough, she picks them up and throws them again. Lately, she’s been tossing then things she doesn’t want any longer behind her back. Don’t want the car that belongs to her dollhouse – toss it over her shoulder. Don’t want the hippo – toss it over her shoulder. And since she now spins around on her bottom, she soon comes across those toys again, gets tired of them once more and tosses them over her shoulder again. It’s rather funny to watch.

This week I was reading Nehemiah 9, one of those wonderful chapters in Scripture that reviews the history of Israel – all those great things God did for His people, followed by the way His people forgot His great deeds and brushed them aside like yesterday’s trash. Verse 26 struck me: “Nevertheless they were disobedient, and rebelled against Thee, and cast Thy law behind their backs, and slew Thy prophets which testified against them to turn them to Thee, and they wrought great provocations.”

The verse follows how God led them into the Promised Land, provided them with exceeding great abundance, and peace, and prosperity…and they took it all for granted. Not caring about what great things God had done, they took His law and “cast (it) behind their backs” – just like Emry does with the toy she no longer wants.

It was an insightful picture. For while I don’t literally throw things behind my back, I am guilty of taking the great things God does for me and tossing them behind me, ever focused on the mirages of things I don’t have but see dancing in front of me. “Out of sight, out of mind” is the attitude I have towards the tangible blessings God gives me while I covet what I imagine He ought to give me.

Naturally, Emry’s tossing of her toys has now progressed to tossing food she doesn’t want to eat off her tray and to the floor. She and I had to have a little talk about that yesterday. A talk she understood because Ed later caught her trying to toss her bottle out of her crib, but when she saw him watching, she stopped and gave him a guilty look. Because tossing away good things is not only a waste, it’s disrespectful and ungrateful. A lesson I would do well to learn also.

Our First Valentine's

According to Ed, Valentine’s is a Hallmark holiday invented by the company to make more money. Who knew that St. Valentine created cupids, boxes of candy and roses. To me, Valentine’s always meant pizza, an ice cream cake from Dad and a scavenger hunt all over the house looking for a book. And if there is a book at the end of a scavenger hunt, what holiday could be better than that?

So, last Valentine’s meant Ed slept on the couch all day while I read, followed by one of his favorite meals I had prepared. Yeah, not anywhere close to romantic. And while I can’t deny I wasn’t disappointed in that (after all, when you’re single FOREVER, a somewhat nice Valentine’s is a nice thought), such a let down did make be determined that we would somehow celebrate Valentine’s with our kids.

First, we made Valentine’s, as you can see. She has her first box of crayons, but we’re not really sure how to use them yet. She may be leaning towards me in this – they seem to be much for fun to line up, first on one side of us and then on the other, than actually coloring with them.

And while Emry’s not quite ready for an all out scavenger hunt yet, I did make her little boxes with clues in them which Ed helped her solve so she found graham crackers at the end of her search. (Ed found his favorite sugar cookies at the end of his.) And even thought I don’t write Ed memos (he would misplace them), ever so often it does seem like we have “ESPN” (as one of my sisters – who shall remain anonymous – called it). Because on Saturday, he brought home roses (three – one for each of us and a reminder of our wedding as we had red roses) and a balloon for Emry. You can just imagine what a hit that was!

For a balloon has many uses besides just being a lot of fun to knock around and defy every rule we’ve learned about gravity. It makes a great mirror…and we can practice “kissing” our reflection. (We’ve just learned to “kiss” if you can call licking cheeks and then smacking our lips – two separate things – a “kiss”.)

Grandma Sturm also sent us a wonderful quiet book. I love it because it keeps her occupied during church.

 And, oh! I must not forget. We went out for breakfast one morning at Eat ‘n Park (a Pittsburgh staple) and Emry got her first Smiley cookie. Since I’m guessing this is a right of passage for a young Pittsburgher (although I will agree with Helen, a friend of Ed’s dad’s, that they really aren’t very good), we also took a picture of that.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

10 Months Old

It is Emry’s “Golden Month-day” – meaning she is 10 months old on the 10^th! As if to prove that she is getting “soooo big!”, today she wiggled and rolled her way (no crawling…we apparently have no interest in that) from the living room where I left her into our little hall to meet me coming from the bathroom. Not only that, but we had maneuvered our way into the television stand to pull out the Wii remotes. I guess we wanted to start our day out with a game or two…

Just in the last couple of weeks, we have accomplished some grand milestones. We can say “Duck!” and “Hi!” We have hit our head very soundly on a table, bringing a stunned looked followed by tears and even a small bruise. We can clap our hands. When the dogs in the neighborhood start barking, we become instantly alert and talk back at them. When Papa gets home in the afternoon, we hear the door and start squealing and yelling for him. Sadly, we have learned how to take away toys from other kids in Sunday School and we had a moment of jealousy when Mama was holding another baby. But, most excitedly of all, we FINALLY have a tooth!!!! It has been nearly two weeks with her gums swelling with her two front bottom teeth and now one has finally broken through! It is quite fascinating to rub our fingers, food, and toys over this new thing in our mouth. And we LOVE to brush our tooth.

Now weighing in at somewhere around 16 pounds, 6 ounces and stretching as far as 26 inches, we certainly have our own little joyful, contented personality. And Ed has turned to me more than once and said, “Can’t we just keep her this age forever?”

10 months old and soooo big!!!!

Mama, can you see my tooth?

Sock Monkey, can you see my tooth?

It used to be much easier to keep the sticker on….

Happy Birthday, Sally!

Over Emry’s bed hangs the beautiful cross-stitch picture of a bear riding a carousel horse. It is framed by a little train, the alphabet and numbers with Emry’s name and birthdate. All in pastel and surrounded by a pink mat. Over the last couple of weeks, Emry has wanted to touch it before I put her down for her naps or bedtime. So every evening, we remember Aunt Sally who stitched it for her.

Today Sally turns 28! Which is a bit hard to believe. I remember rather clearly the evening Mom went into labor with her. In the days before cell phones, getting in touch with my dad eventually meant my grandmother went up to the church to get him. I wasn’t overly impressed with a new little sister for the simple extremely selfish reason that it meant I could have only one friend over for my 8^th birthday a couple of weeks later instead of five or six. (Now I completely understand why my mother insisted upon that!) But a baby sister is a baby sister. Not many of my friends had one of those!

Growing up, it seemed Sally dared life to get the better of her. If eating leaves, dirt and sticks wasn’t going to kill her, maybe drowning would. Or simply not thinking through feats that defy gravity. (Although I guess I was just as bad in that area, trying to be Mary Lou Retton on the swing set…) She and Daniel could come up with more mischief…and yet she also loved to have tea parties and pretty dresses. A true study in contrasts.

In Sally’s world, black was black and white was white. I think she now knows that there are, sadly, grey areas to be had in life. But I have to give her credit where credit is due. In some things, she knows her own mind and sticks to it. And she is not afraid to ask just about anything is she wants to know something. Ed still laughs at all the questions she drilled him with the first time they met.

She almost makes amazing cakes. My wedding cake was just as I wished it to be and it was wonderfully delicious. If I wasn’t bound and determined to make Emry’s 1^st birthday cake myself, I would ask Aunt Sally to come and do it. (Instead I’m trying to put aside the comparison game and out of pure will power create something that won’t embarrass Emry when she looks back at pictures.)

I admire Sally for her willingness to try new things. To take steps out on branches that may crack beneath her.  To know how to shoot a gun and take classes in some form of fighting (can’t remember what it’s called!), but to also spend hours creating lovely cross-stitch pictures and delicious baked goods. And so she remains a study in contrasts…

Happy 28^th Birthday, Sally!

Aunt Sally teaching Emry how to play with blocks.