Ah, the wonderful quirkiness of the South. I suppose, truly,
every area of our country has it’s quirky ways. It’s just easier to laugh at
Southerner’s saying “over yonder” than a New Englander plugging up his nose and
stating “ovah there”.
Like anywhere, it’s easy to wonder where turns of phrases
come from. How do Southern children know exactly where they’re headed when
their Mama tells them their toy is “over yonder”? Why are Southerners always
“fixin’ to” do something? And do they really mean it when they say “well, bless
her heart” over almost every story they hear?
Of course, there is also the great food of the South. Things
like banana pudding. It seems so simple and ordinary and yet I’ve met LOTS of
people north of the Mason Dixon who have no idea what that is and think it’s
probably disgusting. Cornbread is baked in bacon grease in a cast iron pan
(which every Southern housewife has – it’s good for both cooking and knocking
sense into your husband). Cornbread is NOT sweet. However, tea IS sweet (think
of it has syrup, not an actual liquid). Tea without sugar is like bread without
butter. (And on that note, tea is cold – not hot. It’s our personal vendetta
against England. Throwing it in the harbor was all well and good, Massachusetts,
but that was the passion of a moment. We continue our rebellion to this very
day.) You can fry almost everything. And while I don’t get into chittlin’s or
fried green tomatoes, I do think grits are very good.
There is, of course, football. And we’re not talking fancy,
million dollar salaries football. We’re talking Go Big Orange!, Roll, Tide,
Roll! and Ole’ Miss. To prove this point, just this past week I was talking
with a co-worker who buys seasons tickets with the Steelers every year (they took
this over from his father-in-law who had done it since 1955). He remarked that,
of course, I was from the South so I would like…ummm…
“The Titans?” I filled in his memory lapse. “I lived in
Tennessee when the Titans were still the Houston Oilers. We don’t do pro. We do
college.”
Now this guy knows all about college ball. He’s an Ohio
State alumni and his son attends Penn State. Last year, I heard more than my
share of how well Ohio State was doing and never said a word, but now I just
had to say something.
“My grandfather played for Tennessee,” I offered.
“Oh!” along with stunned silence.
“And his brother played for Alabama. And his son did, too.
In fact, he’s in the Alabama Football hall of fame. And his son also played for
Alabama,” I added for good measure.
Another, “Oh.” And then a weakly added, “Ohio did beat
Alabama…once.”
Yeah, I think I’m done hearing about these Yankee colleges
attempting to play football (granted, with some success at times – but everyone
has their off seasons).
It is great to be Southern.
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