The Third Wheel

At some point in our life, I am sure we have all been “the third wheel” – a common term in our vernacular. And one Wikipedia may even have right: “Someone who is superfluous”. Ouch.

My son is a third wheel. He doesn’t know it. And even if he did, I’m not sure he would really care. To him, it just is what it is. So, he dashes off to find his own thing to do…and comes back later to join in again.

I don’t mean this in reference to our family. I’m talking about the little trio of Emry, Ethan and their cousin Beto (who falls about right in the middle of them as he is a week shy of being exactly a year younger than Emry). Emry and Beto get along like two peas in a pod. Which is sometimes an odd couple. Emry is very black-and-white, exact and cautious. Beto is all over the place, lives half his life in the midst of his imagination and doesn’t know what cautious is because he’s simply not focused enough to think anything through. In those ways, he is actually more like Ethan. Which is, perhaps, why he finds a better playmate in Emry than in Ethan. A kind of “opposites attract” thing.

But watching the three of them is often hilarious. Beto spent most of today with us, which meant until the three of them went outside first to paint and then to cover themselves in mud and chalk, Emry and Beto played some imaginary game in Emry’s room while Ethan was soon kicked off the island and spent his time happily under my feet in the kitchen. He wasn’t at all put out with the idea that he was a third wheel and extremely superfluous to his sister and cousin. Quite the opposite, in fact. With Emry occupied by Beto, he had me all to himself and chatted up a storm as I went about my work. 

Of course, one day he may notice that he’s the third wheel and fight back. But I rather doubt it. For one, the dynamics among the cousins will change as they grow. And two, he already knows how to give as good as he gets. He’s a younger brother. Not only has he figured out exactly which buttons to push to rile Emry, he’s also got Beto’s number. And he pushes with a twinkle in his little blue eyes.

I am curious to discover, though, over Easter when my sister Katey is here with her boys what he’ll be like as a “fifth wheel”. Because that is what he will be. It’s been nearly two years since all five of them have been together, so it will be different. But Ethan is the youngest and he simply tends to be the one who is forever left on the sidelines observing – unnoticed by the others who have no idea how observant this little guy actually is. Watching…and waiting…

Yeah…it’s going to be an interesting Easter…