Another Mother's Day has passed...a time to reflect on the mother God has blessed me over and above with. Every year I learn more about the gift of my mother...and I shall probably never stop learning.
I guess having grown up that way, I never think much about cooking, and baking, and cleaning, and moving, and all that. I can't remember eating much out of can - chicken noodle soup or tomato if I was sick, but everything else my mom made. Store bought cookies were a treat. We cleaned house every Friday like clockwork, everyone rotating through the chores. And when we moved, we even impressed the professionals my mom had it down so well. So, now that I'm on my own, I cook, and bake, and clean, and move. (Well, the latter only once thus far on my own and I have to confess I don't clean weekly like clockwork.) But I do cook and bake, which astounds people. I'm not sure why.
And I have that to owe to my mother. For when people ask how I learned, I just shrug and say, "My mom." And it's no fault of my mother that I can't sew, or crochet, or knit. She tried to teach me - I just had no interest. But I can show off the skirts and things she sews for me with great pleasure. Apparently, I'm a successful tutor, especially at math - which is ALL my mother. And the fact that I am a successful woman (more-or-less) is a credit to my mother.
So, once again I rise up and call my mother blessed for more reasons than I can name...or probably even know.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
The Storm After the Calm
April was oddly quiet. I counted up yesterday we admitted nine whole patients (2 were re-admits) the entire month and might have had that many deaths or discharges, but probably less. Most days I was working on my own personal stuff while waiting for the phone to ring. I knew that could only many a storm was brewing on the horizon. This week it hit...in full force.
Monday wasn't too bad. One admission and two from the weekend. That was good because all of April's billing cleared through and I had spreadsheets to play with and invoices to create. Tuesday started out oddly, but I didn't think a whole lot about it except to commiserate with my friend Jenny. That afternoon, a tornado came through the office. Without the novel-length backstory, Jenny and I ended up racing down to Dallas at 3:30 to get to the City Hall and vital records department before it closed at 4:30 in order to get a birth certificate. We made it even though I didn't know where I was going (but Dallas isn't near as difficult to navigate as Boston), retrieved the certificate and went back to the office to fax it to a funeral home in Houston (praise God for HOV lanes!). That calmed that storm to a steady drizzle.
Wednesday: Exactly how many referrals can one nurse stack up in one day? This week: four. And that doesn't include another later, the fact that she already had an admission the next day to handle, the one from Monday was her's as well as one from the weekend, and several of the eleven patients she already has are actively dying. She talked the NP into letting another nurse help her. Meanwhile, I cleaned off my desk. There was no way I could stack another six admissions on top of the seven I already had without going insane.
All those referrals accumulated into three admissions on Thursday, plus she received two other referrals. We dished one out to another nurse (for Monday), she admitted one today, and she postponed the other til Wednesday. In numbers all this equals seven admissions in one week, with two already on the calendar for next week. In one week we have equaled our entire month of April. And after three days of spinning circles, frustrated because I can't keep any of these new patients in my head like I usually do; today has been very quiet. But maybe I shouldn't say anything...it's only 2 o'clock.
I also figured out this week that I really need a dog. I'm housesitting this weekend for a woman with two Sheep Dogs named Lilly and Jade. I went over after work yesterday and we played fetch in the backyard with a ball and frisbee for about 20 or 30 minutes. It was so relaxing to toss the toys across the yard, watch them catch or fetch them and bring them back to me. I would love to go home to that every day!
Monday wasn't too bad. One admission and two from the weekend. That was good because all of April's billing cleared through and I had spreadsheets to play with and invoices to create. Tuesday started out oddly, but I didn't think a whole lot about it except to commiserate with my friend Jenny. That afternoon, a tornado came through the office. Without the novel-length backstory, Jenny and I ended up racing down to Dallas at 3:30 to get to the City Hall and vital records department before it closed at 4:30 in order to get a birth certificate. We made it even though I didn't know where I was going (but Dallas isn't near as difficult to navigate as Boston), retrieved the certificate and went back to the office to fax it to a funeral home in Houston (praise God for HOV lanes!). That calmed that storm to a steady drizzle.
Wednesday: Exactly how many referrals can one nurse stack up in one day? This week: four. And that doesn't include another later, the fact that she already had an admission the next day to handle, the one from Monday was her's as well as one from the weekend, and several of the eleven patients she already has are actively dying. She talked the NP into letting another nurse help her. Meanwhile, I cleaned off my desk. There was no way I could stack another six admissions on top of the seven I already had without going insane.
All those referrals accumulated into three admissions on Thursday, plus she received two other referrals. We dished one out to another nurse (for Monday), she admitted one today, and she postponed the other til Wednesday. In numbers all this equals seven admissions in one week, with two already on the calendar for next week. In one week we have equaled our entire month of April. And after three days of spinning circles, frustrated because I can't keep any of these new patients in my head like I usually do; today has been very quiet. But maybe I shouldn't say anything...it's only 2 o'clock.
I also figured out this week that I really need a dog. I'm housesitting this weekend for a woman with two Sheep Dogs named Lilly and Jade. I went over after work yesterday and we played fetch in the backyard with a ball and frisbee for about 20 or 30 minutes. It was so relaxing to toss the toys across the yard, watch them catch or fetch them and bring them back to me. I would love to go home to that every day!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
My New Toy
Well, this weekend I got a new toy. I've been thinking about a new laptop for a year now, ever since I used a friend's MacAir and told myself, "I've got to get one of these!" Of course, they cost a little bit of money...and I'm not a big spender. But I told myself after my birthday that if I saved enough, I could buy it. So, I saved my pennies (well, dollars...or twenties) and after a hassle and a half with Best Buy (so much for the customer service I always thought they did well at), I got it. This is the first time I've used it to post my blog...thus far, it works quite well.
Haven't had a lot of time to play with it, really. Work has been quite busy these last two days. Maybe because I'm in charge. Well, sort of. I'm not in charge of the nurses (me even suggesting meds would be dangerous, although I know comfort kits are always good - yea for morphine!), but I'm suppose to be in charge of everything else while my boss in on vacation. Not that I've done anything grand, although I did grant our marketer Friday off. Naturally, this position is temporary. But I did get a permanent promotion. I get to use the signature stamp - for, according to my boss, I am a very good stamper. I'm just wondering what sort of raise in salary comes with that...
Haven't had a lot of time to play with it, really. Work has been quite busy these last two days. Maybe because I'm in charge. Well, sort of. I'm not in charge of the nurses (me even suggesting meds would be dangerous, although I know comfort kits are always good - yea for morphine!), but I'm suppose to be in charge of everything else while my boss in on vacation. Not that I've done anything grand, although I did grant our marketer Friday off. Naturally, this position is temporary. But I did get a permanent promotion. I get to use the signature stamp - for, according to my boss, I am a very good stamper. I'm just wondering what sort of raise in salary comes with that...
Friday, May 4, 2012
Bubbles!
So everybody knows that bubbles are fun: blowing them, popping them, chasing them, bathing in them. I thought on Wednesday night I would try some bubble artwork with the kids. I saw you could mix bubbles with paint, blow the bubbles with a straw and then lay paper on them so they created painted bubbles. Well, forget the paper or the artwork. My three 4th graders had a lot more fun spending the next ten or fifteen minutes blowing small bubbles, big bubbles, hives of bubbles, families of bubbles, and whatever else bubbles can be in the imagination of ten year olds! Not only that, but the kids in the younger class were very envious. One offered to be my best friend and give me a million dollars if I would let him join my class. Four-year-old John just looked at me with his adorable eyes and begged. Mental note to self: if I can't come up with anything else for class, bring bubbles.
Frankie: my creative scientist who liked the beehive look.
Matt: the one who frightenly reminds me of me and tried to blow the biggest.
Kate: you can tell she has only brothers to compete with as she was trying both the beehive and biggest bubble look.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
The Fear of Courage
I wouldn't call myself a courageous person by a long shot. After all, I haven't a great deal to be courageous about. My world is very small. The enemies I may have are like the enemies everyone has: people that simply don't like you for whatever reason. I don't live in a country where I am persecuted for my faith - yet. Nor do I live in a place where I could be harassed for casting a vote of conscience - again,yet. But it is amazing what it can take courage to do.
I was talking to a friend this week about some fears that I have. Most of my fears relate to not doing what I should be doing. Last week it seemed like every other person told me how gifted I am at my job. Which led me to wonder if I'm so "gifted" is being between four walls of an office behind a computer shuffling papers what I'm supposed to be doing for the rest of my living days? Give up dreams and hopes of being a wife, having children, writing books...After all, I don't measure up by half to the Proverbs 31 woman. If I married, would the guy end up hating my guts for making his life miserable? If I had children, I could make enough mistakes to ruin their very souls. And writing? Well, I've yet to be convinced I'm any good at that in spite of what some people have said. I'd be much safer between my four walls behind a computer shuffling papers. At the most, I could hope to find four walls, a computer and some papers in a place where there are mountains a beautiful season called winter. For if that's the gift God gave me, would I be wrong to leave that for what I would love to have instead?
My friend quoted Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Yeah, yeah. I've known those verse for thirty years. I don't need them quoted to me.
But later I got to thinking about them...and about what I consider one of the biggest failures of my life. I've always felt that failure had to do with my lack of courage. I was afraid to stand my ground simply because I didn't want to loose something I held very dear. So, I kept my mouth shut...and lost it anyway. Since the outcome was the same, the least I could have done was said something, right? Yeah...if I had had an ounce of courage.
Courage isn't the absence of fear. If you had no fear, you wouldn't need any courage. I suppose, like most people, my greatest fear is the unknown. I want change. I hate feeling trapped in an office and cry at the idea that I could be trapped in one til the day I die instead of having children in my life, and living somewhere beautiful, and maybe writing a book or two worth publishing. But if I actually grasped the courage and stepped out on it, what would I loose in the process? And that is my own understanding. That's not trusting in the Lord, telling Him my desires and fears (even though He already knows them) and begging Him to fulfill them as only He knows how or turn them in the direction best for me. If I would do that, then "He shall direct my paths". No more feeling trapped, afraid to turn. It was then I realized that it takes courage to trust the Lord.
Thinking all this is just the tip of the iceberg. Truly trusting God with the way my life is as well as the desires of my heart is a work in progress - probably a lifetime work in progress. I just pray I will have the courage to trust just enough to see God's loving direction...and accept whatever that is.
I was talking to a friend this week about some fears that I have. Most of my fears relate to not doing what I should be doing. Last week it seemed like every other person told me how gifted I am at my job. Which led me to wonder if I'm so "gifted" is being between four walls of an office behind a computer shuffling papers what I'm supposed to be doing for the rest of my living days? Give up dreams and hopes of being a wife, having children, writing books...After all, I don't measure up by half to the Proverbs 31 woman. If I married, would the guy end up hating my guts for making his life miserable? If I had children, I could make enough mistakes to ruin their very souls. And writing? Well, I've yet to be convinced I'm any good at that in spite of what some people have said. I'd be much safer between my four walls behind a computer shuffling papers. At the most, I could hope to find four walls, a computer and some papers in a place where there are mountains a beautiful season called winter. For if that's the gift God gave me, would I be wrong to leave that for what I would love to have instead?
My friend quoted Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Yeah, yeah. I've known those verse for thirty years. I don't need them quoted to me.
But later I got to thinking about them...and about what I consider one of the biggest failures of my life. I've always felt that failure had to do with my lack of courage. I was afraid to stand my ground simply because I didn't want to loose something I held very dear. So, I kept my mouth shut...and lost it anyway. Since the outcome was the same, the least I could have done was said something, right? Yeah...if I had had an ounce of courage.
Courage isn't the absence of fear. If you had no fear, you wouldn't need any courage. I suppose, like most people, my greatest fear is the unknown. I want change. I hate feeling trapped in an office and cry at the idea that I could be trapped in one til the day I die instead of having children in my life, and living somewhere beautiful, and maybe writing a book or two worth publishing. But if I actually grasped the courage and stepped out on it, what would I loose in the process? And that is my own understanding. That's not trusting in the Lord, telling Him my desires and fears (even though He already knows them) and begging Him to fulfill them as only He knows how or turn them in the direction best for me. If I would do that, then "He shall direct my paths". No more feeling trapped, afraid to turn. It was then I realized that it takes courage to trust the Lord.
Thinking all this is just the tip of the iceberg. Truly trusting God with the way my life is as well as the desires of my heart is a work in progress - probably a lifetime work in progress. I just pray I will have the courage to trust just enough to see God's loving direction...and accept whatever that is.
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