The Virtuous Woman

I don’t know how it began. One fall evening in 2005, I was on the phone with my friend Danielle in South Carolina. Her sister Allyson had just given birth to her second child and I probably asked how Allyson was doing. Danielle said she was doing well, but sometimes she felt a bit sorry for Allyson. After all, Allyson now had two children under the age of two, she spent her days solely at home with them and they didn’t have a second car even if she chose to go somewhere. Honestly, Allyson didn’t mind. But it got me to thinking: I was halfway to Allyson’s twice a week tutoring. I could stop by and give her a little adult conversation. And spend some time with Caleb and Violet.

What became a phone call every other week or so to ask if I could stop by turned into “I’ll just stop by every other Thursday” to “Okay, I’ll come by every Thursday”. Until my life was missing something if I didn’t spend an afternoon wiling away many hours with Allyson, Caleb, Violet and then little Seth. We didn’t do much. Played with the kids. Raked leaves. Read books until my mouth was dry. Sat at the kitchen table laughing and talking as we peeled and sliced bushels upon bushels of apples. A friendship I didn’t know how much I needed.

Danielle wrote a beautiful post wishing Allyson a Happy Mother’s Day last week (http://lawgraceandrealestate.com/2014/05/11/a-tale-of-two-sisters/). While I can’t write it quite like Danielle, I do want to honor Allyson today on her birthday. Because like Danielle, I am very different from Allyson. A bit type A. More interested in making things efficient than simple and old-fashioned. Desiring to be a wife and mother, yet knowing Proverbs 31 was not written with me in mind. How in the world Allyson and I became best friends (outside of our spouse/soon-to-be-spouse) is beyond me. But God knew how much we needed the friendship He gave us.

Proverbs 31 was written about Allyson. She sews, she cooks, she bakes, she preserves. She also stains porches, rakes leaves, trims trees and keeps a garden. She now has seven children and raises them in a 1500 square foot house. Yet there is never any clutter. I have only seen her nearly loose her temper once. Her children are safe and happy. And with the exception of my parents’ home, there is no place on earth I prefer above Allyson’s home.

I am so blessed to have Allyson in my life. To have her and her husband Kevin singing at my wedding. To have her little girls Violet, Laurel and Marigold walk up the aisle as my flower girls. Truly, I don’t think I give half as much as I receive from our friendship. I always feel encouraged after I speak to her. Whenever I visit, I regret having to leave. And, as friend told me nearly a dozen years ago, when I grow up I want to be like Allyson. I want my home to be a haven. I want my marriage to be an example of Christlikeness. I want to be patient, and industrious, and content with the things I have.

The duplex Ed and I will move into has a very small kitchen. And, for some reason that makes no sense to me, it has no drawers. When Ed told me that, the first thing I thought was I couldn’t use my new silverware tray. I confess, the innate organizer in me was looking forward to having my silverware neatly put away instead of spread throughout a drawer. But then I remembered that Allyson has been married for eleven years and in those eleven years, her silverware has always been neatly kept in a silverware tray which sits on a shelf. So while Ed is searching for a small fixture with drawers and more cabinet space to put in the kitchen, I think I would just like a shelf…on which my silverware tray will sit…in which the silverware will be neatly kept.

It will be my first step to being like Allyson.

My Mom

At church on Sunday, we watched a short video clip of a man who had posted a job online entitled “Director of Operations”. He accepted resumes and set up Skype interviews. At these interviews, he presented the requirements for the job: have to work on your feet all day long with no breaks – for about 24 hours a day 7 days a week – hardly ever sleep; have degrees in medicine, finance and culinary arts and not get paid anything. The looks on the potential employees faces were looks of shock, protests of inhumanity and lots of shaking of the head. Until they were told that billions of people around the world have this job. It’s called Mother.

My mom is like that. Looking back, I know she didn’t sleep much. If she was sitting down it was because she was feeding the baby, sewing or folding laundry. By now she should have degrees in medicine, finance and culinary arts with all the temperatures she’s taken, tax returns she’s filed and meals she’s cooked. And, no, she never got paid a dime.

The older I get, the more I appreciate my mom. In the past months since my engagement, I have come to appreciate even more things about my mother. She has done so much to keep me on track and put plans in order for my wedding. She will fly to Minnesota to drive with me to Indiana and then Pennsylvania. And while she will cry at my wedding, she will also rejoice with me. Many days I wonder if I will be half the wife, and perhaps one day mother, as she has been.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

Randomness

Well, as of today, I have two weeks left at work here at Camp Lebanon. Just over two weeks before I leave Minnesota. Three weeks until I arrive in Pittsburgh. Four weeks until I am married. Where is all the time going?

My apartment is about half packed. I'll pack a little more this weekend, but the rest will have to wait until just before I leave. (I mean, I do need a few clothes to wear!) My moving container is reserved, but still looking for some help to get it to my apartment. I do have helpers to load it up. Mom is flying up to help me drive down. I have GPS on my phone for directions. I think I'm just about ready to move.

Had a "normal" week at work (worked Monday to Friday, 9 to 5) so had a great week of training with Abigail. She might be a little overwhelmed, but I think she's doing great. It is a lot of info to take in all at once, especially since you won't be doing most of it until the fall or even next winter. But she took lots of notes and has my contact info so she can call.

Still looking for a job in Pittsburgh. Job hunting is exhausting. I think I've put out over 30 and had responses from...oh, two. Not really sure job boards work at all. I've got a couple I'm hoping for. We'll see.

Right now it is lovely and sunny here, although chilly with the wind. But it's nice to see the sun after almost nearly two weeks of cloudiness and rain. I don't think it's going to last long...more rain tomorrow. But I've loved the thunder and lightening over the past couple of evenings. And the grass is green, the farmers are out and there are even buds on the trees!

Have a quiet weekend - yea! Because I have quite a few thank-you notes to write. And books to read.

Now the work day is nearly over. Abigail is filing the last of our papers. I'll head home for a quiet evening. Got a couple of movies from the library to enjoy. I do like quiet evenings.

A Candy Land Adventure

To tell you the truth, Candy Land ended up being a challenge to pull off. For all it’s potential – color, interesting characters, sweet things to eat – it became almost overwhelming. Sometimes being able to decorate with the entire Life is a journey. It’s a winding path. Sometimes, you get a shortcut. Or, worse, someone else on the path gets a shortcut. Other times, you get stuck…while others pass you by. You meet interesting people. Some are nutty, others hardworking and many are evil. At times, it is quite difficult. But on occasion, you shoot to the top. Regardless of the journey, the destination is the goal. In the life of a Christian, that goal is the King.

It’s been a full year since Lisa, Andrea and I started brainstorming on a Candy Land theme for Mother/Daughter. As we talked and thought about it, it occurred to us how much our life journey is like Candy Land. There are shortcuts, but there are places you get stuck. Sometimes, you shoot ahead to Queen Frostine…only to get demoted to Mr. Plumpy. And the goal? King Kandy.

As fun as it was, Candy Land was a challenge. Decorating with every color of the rainbow is a bit much. And to have scavenger hunt complete with characters, games and crafts became an even greater challenge when nearly 130 mothers and daughters decided to come. I’m not sure Andrea slept for a week, thinking about all the things she had to get done to pull it off. But pull it off she did. And the girls completed their scavenger hunt with the prize of a tiara and a certificate showing they are a daughter of the King.

It was a long, whirlwind of a weekend. Girls and their mothers playing games, doing their nails, making crafts, jumping rope, cooking s’mores. Lots of laughter. Lots of fun stories to tell. (I had 9-year-old twins grilling me to make sure Ed is a Christian before I marry him). And lots of excitement to come back next year. As far as weekend retreats go, Mother/Daughter is my favorite.

But most importantly is what God did that weekend. We don’t know everything, but we had many follow up e-mails of praise for things God had done. And one women accepted Christ as her Saviour and became a daughter of the King.

As a full day’s worth of decorations came down (took 10 hours to put up décor that lasted all of 48 hours), you’re tired and wonder if it was all worth it. But once you have a nap and think back on a few special moments in the midst of the whirlwind, you know you would do it all again.

Camp Lebanon’s “Candy Land” Cast of Characters.

Bill helping me prep for the evening Mother/Daughter photo shoot.

Ice Out!

Well, I almost won. I was just 30 or so hours off from predicting when the ice would entirely melt off the lake. Maybe I’ve learned after a year here to give good predictions. More likely, I just got lucky.

One of the most fascinating things I have learned here in Minnesota is that the Great Mississippi actually does freeze. It freezes enough to snowmobile on it. But what is most amazing (or crazy) is that just below a dam in the town of Sartell where it starts freezing again (and that’s within a quarter mile), people ice fish on it. There is open water not ten feet from them, and yet there they sit in their little huts fishing away. Courage? Or foolhardy? Not sure which.

To me, watching the Mississippi freeze is more interesting than watching a lake freeze. Lakes freeze evenly from the edges to the middle, the ice getting thicker and thicker below (like two feet thick!). But watching the ice go out on a lake is more interesting than watching the Mississippi un-freeze. When the Mississippi thaws, the water begins running high and strong. The ice breaks up and floats away. You don’t really see it. But a lake you can watch. It starts on the edges. Then it begins to look like the ice is soft, just floating on top of water. But, it’s not. Throw a good size rock out there and it will skid across without breaking through. Those huge chunks of ice begin breaking apart one day. And then they get lighter. That’s when they start to move.

For ice to go out, it’s needs warmer days, some rain and wind. Wind is probably the most important aspect and it makes the lake turn into a world that changes every other minute. To me, it looks like a huge, interactive map. The darker areas are the land, with rivers of water running through. And it changes every few minutes. The land shifts. The rivers run a different course, disappear completely or shift in size. The wind is shifting the large patches of ice all around. On the lake at camp, it’s a good eastward wind that will finally blow the ice out. We got one of those on Saturday. At first, the map shifted this way or that. Then the wind picked up, pushing the large flows of ice east. You could watch them flow across the lake. Within twelve hours, they were gone – melted away or broken up on shore. The water rose, the wind raced across it forming whitecaps. And the ice was out.

God’s creation is truly amazing. I don’t know if I’ll ever live somewhere again where I can watch a great river freeze or a five-acre lake “ice out”. But I am so grateful I have gotten to see something that incredible.