The Virtuous Woman

I don’t know how it began. One fall evening in 2005, I was on the phone with my friend Danielle in South Carolina. Her sister Allyson had just given birth to her second child and I probably asked how Allyson was doing. Danielle said she was doing well, but sometimes she felt a bit sorry for Allyson. After all, Allyson now had two children under the age of two, she spent her days solely at home with them and they didn’t have a second car even if she chose to go somewhere. Honestly, Allyson didn’t mind. But it got me to thinking: I was halfway to Allyson’s twice a week tutoring. I could stop by and give her a little adult conversation. And spend some time with Caleb and Violet.

What became a phone call every other week or so to ask if I could stop by turned into “I’ll just stop by every other Thursday” to “Okay, I’ll come by every Thursday”. Until my life was missing something if I didn’t spend an afternoon wiling away many hours with Allyson, Caleb, Violet and then little Seth. We didn’t do much. Played with the kids. Raked leaves. Read books until my mouth was dry. Sat at the kitchen table laughing and talking as we peeled and sliced bushels upon bushels of apples. A friendship I didn’t know how much I needed.

Danielle wrote a beautiful post wishing Allyson a Happy Mother’s Day last week (http://lawgraceandrealestate.com/2014/05/11/a-tale-of-two-sisters/). While I can’t write it quite like Danielle, I do want to honor Allyson today on her birthday. Because like Danielle, I am very different from Allyson. A bit type A. More interested in making things efficient than simple and old-fashioned. Desiring to be a wife and mother, yet knowing Proverbs 31 was not written with me in mind. How in the world Allyson and I became best friends (outside of our spouse/soon-to-be-spouse) is beyond me. But God knew how much we needed the friendship He gave us.

Proverbs 31 was written about Allyson. She sews, she cooks, she bakes, she preserves. She also stains porches, rakes leaves, trims trees and keeps a garden. She now has seven children and raises them in a 1500 square foot house. Yet there is never any clutter. I have only seen her nearly loose her temper once. Her children are safe and happy. And with the exception of my parents’ home, there is no place on earth I prefer above Allyson’s home.

I am so blessed to have Allyson in my life. To have her and her husband Kevin singing at my wedding. To have her little girls Violet, Laurel and Marigold walk up the aisle as my flower girls. Truly, I don’t think I give half as much as I receive from our friendship. I always feel encouraged after I speak to her. Whenever I visit, I regret having to leave. And, as friend told me nearly a dozen years ago, when I grow up I want to be like Allyson. I want my home to be a haven. I want my marriage to be an example of Christlikeness. I want to be patient, and industrious, and content with the things I have.

The duplex Ed and I will move into has a very small kitchen. And, for some reason that makes no sense to me, it has no drawers. When Ed told me that, the first thing I thought was I couldn’t use my new silverware tray. I confess, the innate organizer in me was looking forward to having my silverware neatly put away instead of spread throughout a drawer. But then I remembered that Allyson has been married for eleven years and in those eleven years, her silverware has always been neatly kept in a silverware tray which sits on a shelf. So while Ed is searching for a small fixture with drawers and more cabinet space to put in the kitchen, I think I would just like a shelf…on which my silverware tray will sit…in which the silverware will be neatly kept.

It will be my first step to being like Allyson.