Half of my have-everything-in-order-ahead-of-time I was born with. The other half my mom taught me - not directly but by her actions. For you see, unlike most families, Sunday mornings in our house were very rarely rushed - VERY RARELY. For Mom laid out our dresses (or slacks/shirt/tie for the two boys), complete with shoes and hose/socks. (If we didn't like the outfit, too bad.) As most of our dresses had matching hairbows, it was easy for her to pluck them off the holder in her bathroom when we brought her our hairbrush. And that's just a sample of the order my mom exumes.
To this day, very rarely does Sunday come and I haven't already decided what outfit I will wear or how I will do my hair. I don't lay the clothes out, but I already know what I'm looking for and which iron to plug in as I brush my teeth. I'm the same any day of the week. I have my workout cloths in their bag every night (unless I just leave them at work), on Tuesday evening my backpack is packed with everything I will need for my Wednesday evening class and if I'm running errands after work, the boxes are packed for the post office, the list made for the grocery store or the library books stacked for their return. I go out of town for a brief trip this Thursday and Friday and already the suitcase is half packed. You get the picture. So imagine my chagrin when I couldn't find the check I wrote, already in it's stamped envelope ready to mail this morning.
First I looked through the piles I had prepared for the next two mornings: not in my stack of thank-you cards to take to work and write when I have a minute. Not in my pile of library books to be returned tomorrow after work. I looked in my backpack, already packed for Wednesday evening. No. Not in my bank file which I had been working in Saturday to close out all my 2012 stuff. And not in the container where my files are kept. My only other option was my trash, which I had taken out yesterday as it gets picked up today. So, once I was ready for the day and prayed I would find the check, I took all my pre-prepared stuff out to my car and got in the trash bin. And guess what? It was right on top: stamped and ready to go.
I thanked God and very felt relieved. And then I felt very frustrated with myself. What was I thinking that I didn't put that where I could find it? It should never have ended up in my trash. Next time I'll put it somewhere better. And, no, I'm not OCD. I'm just prepared.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
Expectations
Recently I was reading 1 Kings. Every time I start that book, I get frustrated with King David. He's on his deathbed, he thinks back over his life and decides there are a few things he didn't accomplish. So he tells Solomon to do them.
Now I'm not saying that a son should not listen to the wise counsel of his father and obey. But two of the things David wanted Solomon to accomplish he should have done and failed: 1) Punish Joab for the murders and other crimes he had committed that David continually overlooked, and 2) Punish Shimei for the curses he brought upon David's head, even though at the time David told his men to overlook them. David was the king of all of Israel. If he didn't bring justice down upon his people, why did he think it suitable for Solomon to do so? By this time, it no longer looks like justice - it looks like revenge.
I got into a discussion with a guy this week about how fathers expect so much from their sons. They expect them to do everything they themselves do not. I know what's it like to fall short of expectations, for I'm the queen of setting them up in my own head and crumbling when I seem to falter. It's a vicious circle, sometimes to the point of spending hours lamenting your imperfections. But this guy shrugged slightly and said, "Yeah, men tend to do that."
I've noticed. And it's frustrating. I mean, I want all my younger siblings to do better in life than I have. And, if I ever have children, I want them to be more godly, and virtuous, and everything I am not. And I certainly wish to give wise counsel if I am able. But I hope I never push them to do what I failed to do, especially if the responsibility to do that was mine to begin with.
Expectations are difficult to balance. I know. I think we all know. I think it's something God has been trying to teach me over the past year...and I don't think learned the lesson well. But I will say I'm more aware of it. So, perhaps in this next year I'll get a better grade.
Now I'm not saying that a son should not listen to the wise counsel of his father and obey. But two of the things David wanted Solomon to accomplish he should have done and failed: 1) Punish Joab for the murders and other crimes he had committed that David continually overlooked, and 2) Punish Shimei for the curses he brought upon David's head, even though at the time David told his men to overlook them. David was the king of all of Israel. If he didn't bring justice down upon his people, why did he think it suitable for Solomon to do so? By this time, it no longer looks like justice - it looks like revenge.
I got into a discussion with a guy this week about how fathers expect so much from their sons. They expect them to do everything they themselves do not. I know what's it like to fall short of expectations, for I'm the queen of setting them up in my own head and crumbling when I seem to falter. It's a vicious circle, sometimes to the point of spending hours lamenting your imperfections. But this guy shrugged slightly and said, "Yeah, men tend to do that."
I've noticed. And it's frustrating. I mean, I want all my younger siblings to do better in life than I have. And, if I ever have children, I want them to be more godly, and virtuous, and everything I am not. And I certainly wish to give wise counsel if I am able. But I hope I never push them to do what I failed to do, especially if the responsibility to do that was mine to begin with.
Expectations are difficult to balance. I know. I think we all know. I think it's something God has been trying to teach me over the past year...and I don't think learned the lesson well. But I will say I'm more aware of it. So, perhaps in this next year I'll get a better grade.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
2013
Two days into the new year and, well...let's jut hope these 38 hours aren't a pre-cursor of the year to come.
Had yesterday off from work, even though I was just off for a whole week. The point of taking yesterday off was to catch up on the to-do list that's piled up at home. It was a nice thought, but it didn't go very far. I worked faithfully on the list Monday night and Tuesday morning. Then I dashed off with Haley to meet a couple of friends at the theatre to see Les Miserables. Loved it...and, for me, it was aptly named. For I left the theatre miserable.
First of all, Haley and I took her car to the theatre. During the previews-turn-off-your-cell-phones-buy-concessions part we had a deep discussion that this "Hide. Lock. Take" thing is backwards. Why? Because you really ought to take your keys before you lock the car. Case in point: Haley locked her keys in the car. Alicia was kind enough to give us a ride home. Then we took my car to get Haley's car. I suppose it is always good to start a new year with a good lesson learned.
But that was more amusing than miserable. Towards the last half of the movie, I got a sinus headache. Not a huge deal. I get those. Once the movie was over, I opened my mouth to answer a question and sounded like a 12-year-old boy whose voice is changing: squeaky, every other word, hoarse. Went home and Haley started a fire. Had dinner, wanted to work on something I hadn't finished but felt awful, put some pieces in the puzzle I'm working on. At 7, I couldn't take it anymore and went to bed. By this point, I was feverish, shivering, coughing and still couldn't talk. Drugged myself and was fast asleep by nine.
Fast forward to this morning. Awoke feeling fine except I can't speak above a hoarse whisper. And every-once-in-a-while I feel feverish and chilled. As I work with nurses, I keep getting asked what is wrong, and told what to take, and instructed to go to the doctor if I can't get rid of it by the end of the weekend. I feel well enough to work, but I did cancel going to teach the kids tonight at church. They certainly don't need what germs I may have. Instead, I'll go home, rest and go to bed early.
So, that is the gist of my start of 2013. Hope yours has been better. Happy 2013!
Had yesterday off from work, even though I was just off for a whole week. The point of taking yesterday off was to catch up on the to-do list that's piled up at home. It was a nice thought, but it didn't go very far. I worked faithfully on the list Monday night and Tuesday morning. Then I dashed off with Haley to meet a couple of friends at the theatre to see Les Miserables. Loved it...and, for me, it was aptly named. For I left the theatre miserable.
First of all, Haley and I took her car to the theatre. During the previews-turn-off-your-cell-phones-buy-concessions part we had a deep discussion that this "Hide. Lock. Take" thing is backwards. Why? Because you really ought to take your keys before you lock the car. Case in point: Haley locked her keys in the car. Alicia was kind enough to give us a ride home. Then we took my car to get Haley's car. I suppose it is always good to start a new year with a good lesson learned.
But that was more amusing than miserable. Towards the last half of the movie, I got a sinus headache. Not a huge deal. I get those. Once the movie was over, I opened my mouth to answer a question and sounded like a 12-year-old boy whose voice is changing: squeaky, every other word, hoarse. Went home and Haley started a fire. Had dinner, wanted to work on something I hadn't finished but felt awful, put some pieces in the puzzle I'm working on. At 7, I couldn't take it anymore and went to bed. By this point, I was feverish, shivering, coughing and still couldn't talk. Drugged myself and was fast asleep by nine.
Fast forward to this morning. Awoke feeling fine except I can't speak above a hoarse whisper. And every-once-in-a-while I feel feverish and chilled. As I work with nurses, I keep getting asked what is wrong, and told what to take, and instructed to go to the doctor if I can't get rid of it by the end of the weekend. I feel well enough to work, but I did cancel going to teach the kids tonight at church. They certainly don't need what germs I may have. Instead, I'll go home, rest and go to bed early.
So, that is the gist of my start of 2013. Hope yours has been better. Happy 2013!
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Another Year
Well, I didn't get a white Christmas. But it snowed beautifully the day after...and today as I left Indiana to return to Texas. I was just happy to see snow. There is something peaceful about it, despite all the havoc it can wreak. Perhaps there is a lesson in that, but sitting in the most stressful airport in the United States (Kansas City) isn't conducive to thinking deep thoughts.
It was a nice Christmas. Way too much food (as always), lots of noise and activity with the dogs (especially as Gus pesters the others), games and new movies to watch. As always, it went by too quickly.
It's hard to believe 2012 is almost over. I don't know what it is about 2013, but it seems like an odd year. Maybe it's the 13...unlucky or something. For me, it can only go up. At least I hope. 2012 has been a little hard. One of those years that will go in the record books along with 1998, 2004 and 2007. And yet where would I be in my life without 1998, 2004 and 2007? Truly, I shutter to think. In a few years, I'm sure I will say the same about 2012. Of course there is a lesson in that, too. But again, hours of travel and the Kansas City airport don't make for sound thinking.
But as I think of the year our Sovereign God just brought me through and the one that is to come (and only He knows what it will hold), I am beginning to think of the goals that will encourage me through the year...that will keep me going. For one, to read more books by godly men that will encourage me in my walk. Secondly, to get back to writing. I've hardly put pen to paper this past year (or fingers to keyboard), but when I do I remember how it calms me and gives me joy. Thirdly, to work on my dollhouse as I have things to put into it or do some scrapbooking in between that. Something that puts what little creativity I have in that direction to work. The color and imagination will help me recover from the endless paperwork I "enjoy" eight hours every day. And lastly, pray more specifically for the desires of my heart to the Father who delights in me.
It was a nice Christmas. Way too much food (as always), lots of noise and activity with the dogs (especially as Gus pesters the others), games and new movies to watch. As always, it went by too quickly.
It's hard to believe 2012 is almost over. I don't know what it is about 2013, but it seems like an odd year. Maybe it's the 13...unlucky or something. For me, it can only go up. At least I hope. 2012 has been a little hard. One of those years that will go in the record books along with 1998, 2004 and 2007. And yet where would I be in my life without 1998, 2004 and 2007? Truly, I shutter to think. In a few years, I'm sure I will say the same about 2012. Of course there is a lesson in that, too. But again, hours of travel and the Kansas City airport don't make for sound thinking.
But as I think of the year our Sovereign God just brought me through and the one that is to come (and only He knows what it will hold), I am beginning to think of the goals that will encourage me through the year...that will keep me going. For one, to read more books by godly men that will encourage me in my walk. Secondly, to get back to writing. I've hardly put pen to paper this past year (or fingers to keyboard), but when I do I remember how it calms me and gives me joy. Thirdly, to work on my dollhouse as I have things to put into it or do some scrapbooking in between that. Something that puts what little creativity I have in that direction to work. The color and imagination will help me recover from the endless paperwork I "enjoy" eight hours every day. And lastly, pray more specifically for the desires of my heart to the Father who delights in me.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Traditions: Decorations
In so many ways, the decorations we put up at Christmas are not entirely traditional. For one, this will be my 33rd Christmas....33 years and seven other siblings later there are some memorable decorations no longer around. For instance, the nativity scene I first remember has long been broken to pieces and thrown away...
I was thinking the other day that I don't even remember putting up lights on the house until I was well into my teens...or even twenties. Today I consider that a tradition, to put up lights before December arrives so you won't freeze to death and take them down after Easter when they're no longer frozen to the house. But, apparently, that fun is just over a decade old.
So is one of my favorite decorations to put up: my Christmas village. I always wanted a Christmas village. So, not quite ten years ago my sisters got together, purchased pieces to a ceramic village and painted each piece themselves. The next two years following, I got a few more pieces, lovingly painted by my sisters. Each is marked at the bottom with their name, and the whole thing is very special to me. These past several years I have put it up at Thanksgiving so I can enjoy it a few days then and again when I arrive home for Christmas. Just this year I was thinking I need to purchase a train to run around it...maybe next year. :)
Of course, there are my ornaments. Most of these are more than twenty years old, some more than thirty. And each became special in their own way. I love pulling them out of their boxes and hanging them up, remembering who gave them to me and the occasion. My Christmas ornaments are like a living picture book...
Every year, we put up a live tree. I can't imagine my family will ever put up a fake one. We hang our stockings....sometimes by a fire with care but that depends on the house we're living in. The one in Indiana does not have a fireplace, so they are placed on the staircase with care. Mom made each of our stockings (too large, she says, for they are hard to fill) and we all love the uniqueness of each of them. (I even have fabric in the attic for the stockings Mom will make my children.) When I was in elementary school, Mom had someone make ceramic stocking holders we used for years and years. Some are still around, but in the last few years she has purchased each of us our own, as unique as our stockings.
There is greenery, but Katey (the one who loves to decorate) started that about ten or less years ago, and while I think it is lovely and enjoy having it out have never put it out myself. And then Mom decorates her pineapple plant...another in-the-last-decade tradition...and a story I won't detail here. But I do look for it when I go home. :)
I was thinking the other day that I don't even remember putting up lights on the house until I was well into my teens...or even twenties. Today I consider that a tradition, to put up lights before December arrives so you won't freeze to death and take them down after Easter when they're no longer frozen to the house. But, apparently, that fun is just over a decade old.
So is one of my favorite decorations to put up: my Christmas village. I always wanted a Christmas village. So, not quite ten years ago my sisters got together, purchased pieces to a ceramic village and painted each piece themselves. The next two years following, I got a few more pieces, lovingly painted by my sisters. Each is marked at the bottom with their name, and the whole thing is very special to me. These past several years I have put it up at Thanksgiving so I can enjoy it a few days then and again when I arrive home for Christmas. Just this year I was thinking I need to purchase a train to run around it...maybe next year. :)
Of course, there are my ornaments. Most of these are more than twenty years old, some more than thirty. And each became special in their own way. I love pulling them out of their boxes and hanging them up, remembering who gave them to me and the occasion. My Christmas ornaments are like a living picture book...
Every year, we put up a live tree. I can't imagine my family will ever put up a fake one. We hang our stockings....sometimes by a fire with care but that depends on the house we're living in. The one in Indiana does not have a fireplace, so they are placed on the staircase with care. Mom made each of our stockings (too large, she says, for they are hard to fill) and we all love the uniqueness of each of them. (I even have fabric in the attic for the stockings Mom will make my children.) When I was in elementary school, Mom had someone make ceramic stocking holders we used for years and years. Some are still around, but in the last few years she has purchased each of us our own, as unique as our stockings.
There is greenery, but Katey (the one who loves to decorate) started that about ten or less years ago, and while I think it is lovely and enjoy having it out have never put it out myself. And then Mom decorates her pineapple plant...another in-the-last-decade tradition...and a story I won't detail here. But I do look for it when I go home. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)