Expectations

Recently I was reading 1 Kings. Every time I start that book, I get frustrated with King David. He's on his deathbed, he thinks back over his life and decides there are a few things he didn't accomplish. So he tells Solomon to do them.

Now I'm not saying that a son should not listen to the wise counsel of his father and obey. But two of the things David wanted Solomon to accomplish  he should have done and failed: 1) Punish Joab for the murders and other crimes he had committed that David continually overlooked, and 2) Punish Shimei for the curses he brought upon David's head, even though at the time David told his men to overlook them. David was the king of all of Israel. If he didn't bring justice down upon his people, why did he think it suitable for Solomon to do so? By this time, it no longer looks like justice - it looks like revenge.

I got into a discussion with a guy this week about how fathers expect so much from their sons. They expect them to do everything they themselves do not. I know what's it like to fall short of expectations, for I'm the queen of setting them up in my own head and crumbling when I seem to falter. It's a vicious circle, sometimes to the point of spending hours lamenting your imperfections. But this guy shrugged slightly and said, "Yeah, men tend to do that."

I've noticed. And it's frustrating. I mean, I want all my younger siblings to do better in life than I have. And, if I ever have children, I want them to be more godly, and virtuous, and everything I am not. And I certainly wish to give wise counsel if I am able. But I hope I never push them to do what I failed to do, especially if the responsibility to do that was mine to begin with.

Expectations are difficult to balance. I know. I think we all know. I think it's something God has been trying to teach me over the past year...and I don't think learned the lesson well. But I will say I'm more aware of it. So, perhaps in this next year I'll get a better grade.