Empowered or Disadvantaged?

It is true that your environment affects who you are and how you think. And the environment every woman in America lives in tells us that we are empowered. In fact, we aren’t simply equal to men anymore – we are so above and beyond them that, honestly, who needs them? Susan B. Anthony. Cady Elizabeth Stanton. Suffragists of the past. We appreciate your efforts and the history you gave us, but we are way past anything you ever dreamed. Not only can we vote but we can serve in the military. We can own and run Fortune 500 companies. We can #MeToo and destroy the life of any man that looks at us cross-eyed.  As a friend of mine use to say, “We are all that and a bag of chips!”

And yet…

Part of my job includes the various certifications the company I work for holds. Some are required to simply do business. Others are acquired in the hopes that they will allow us to gain more work. One is a small business certification. The other is a women owned business certification. Put those two together and in the state of Pennsylvania (and probably every other state), you can also obtain a DBE certification as well as an SDB certification. These acronyms stand for roughly the same thing: Disadvantaged Business Enterprise and Small Disadvantaged Business. And how are we disadvantaged? Simple. Fifty-seven percent of the company is owned by women.

Which, as a woman in America, confuses me greatly…

Am I empowered? Or am I disadvantaged?

Happy Birthday, Dad!

 

Now Grandpa!

Happy Birthday, Daniel!

 

Unc – who we adore!!!!

Sick, Sick, Sick

Seems like coming home from vacation nearly always brings on sniffles or something. This time Emry came down with a little something, mostly a runny nose and lots of sleep in her eyes every morning. Naturally, she shared with Ethan. (If only sharing toys came so naturally!) His included a terrible sounding cough. On top of more teething, he was just fussy and clingy. Emry just hasn’t been her constantly bouncy self…which isn’t entirely a bad thing.

Especially when I get it…and share with Ed. I had a nose that wouldn’t stop running, followed by aches all over and lots of congestion. Mostly, though, I just felt rundown with barely enough energy to keep up with two kids and try to keep things around here as clean as possible. Ed got it the worse – cough, congestion, soar throat, run down and he even called off one day of work.

Such has been our week. Now it’s Friday and I finally woke up (even though it was 5 in the morning so I could get to work) with energy! I felt like I had so much energy I was ready to run a marathon. I went to work, came home and played with the kids, enjoyed an evening with my family without feeling testy, and now will head to bed.

And, hopefully with better health, blogging next week will be a bit more interesting!

Yesterday...Today

One of the fun things about having kids is watching them do the same things I did when I was a kid. Sometimes it’s just little things, sometimes special things. But whatever it is, the memories that come back make me smile. Which is a joy. Because sometimes in the midst of adulthood, it’s fun to remember being a kid.

Emry and Ethan in the Jacuzzi, 2018.

Me and Katey in the Jacuzzi, 1987.

Emry and Ethan playing in the rain, 2018.

Me and Katey playing in the rain, 1983.

Ethan at Grandpa and Grandma's

In some ways, I would have to say Ethan’s greatest triumph while in Indiana was, in one word, survival.

Turning 17 months while we were there, I often remind myself that at his age Emry was not even walking. This little guy, of course, is walking, climbing, running, jumping and attempting to just about anything his sister and older cousin can do. Somehow that equals ten times more falls, bumps and bruises as Emry and Beto put together.

Petting the goats at the zoo – he wandered around and gave every one of them a pat!

First, Lily the cat scratched him. Granted, she was only defending herself from being pestered and patted half to death. He had to go in search for her every time he came up the steps. Second, he is 17 months old and that equals a lot of teething. I thought it was just his bottom right incisor but one day I had him in my lap and he threw his head back laughing. That’s when I saw the real culprit of all the fussing and waking up at night: a molar. Thirdly, he learned to climb up the ladder and slip down the slide himself. That did not cause any serious injury – not like simply walking will do. For the biggest injury of all came when he tripped over his own two feet, stumbled into a plastic jar my mother keeps for spare change on her bathroom floor, hit his mouth and got his first busted lip – and it was a doozy! Blood everywhere, swollen and scabbed over for days. At least he got a lot of popsicles out the deal. And if all that wasn’t enough, drowning seemed like a good way to go. The idea that one cannot simply keep walking into the pool as the water comes up to one’s chin…and then mouth…and then – well, why can’t one keep walking?!?! Or jumping into it. Or simply tumbling under it. It’s a good thing there were many sets of eyes and hands to keep him upright!

Pool time!!!

Injuries aside, though, Ethan had tons of fun and discovered all kinds of new things such as Cheetos:

Juice boxes:

And bubble mowers:

He also met my brother Daniel for the first time. And, like Emry, loved him!

Unc and Ethan.

Ethan had fun simply roaming about, following the dogs, trying to keep up with Emry and Beto (not always a good idea) and generally just enjoying his young life despite the bumps, bruises and new teeth. Which is, I guess, is what one does at 17 months old.

My little man.

Emry at Grandma and Grandpa's

Emry is old enough to remember trips to Grandma and Grandpa’s. (She also has a memory like a steel trap, so that helps…or not.) So, in spite of the long ride, she greatly anticipated everything she would enjoy at my parents.

This year, her cousin Benito (or “Benny” or “Beto”), who is a week short of a year younger than her, was two. And about a half inch shorter, but weighs in a bit more. He’s also way more adventurous…being a boy. I think, at times, she found him a little overwhelming. For while she would join in much of his play, she spent just as much time following him around. And asking me what he was doing. And, since she is a whole year older, she could teach him a few things. Like when Mom and I took the three of them to the library one day and there was a poster of a Star Wars character on a door.

“A snowman!” Beto happily pointed to it.

“No,” my 3-year-old Star Wars encyclopedia replied, “that’s BB-8.”

And when it came to driving his new Power Wheel, she was more than happy to take the driver’s seat. Strangely, he seemed happy to let her. Not exactly sure what that tends towards in their future…

Emry and Beto driving the new Power Wheel.

Even at home, Emry is my little helper. Of course, that typically means it takes me twice as long to do something or simply more work because I have to do the original job plus clean up after her. But she’s learning! It was no different at Grandma’s. She happily helped Grandma Swifter the downstairs hall one day, helped her water all the plants and assisted in the ice cream making. Picking blueberries was by far the favorite chore. Very few ended up in the bowl…

Emry and Ethan picking blueberries.

I did decide I will never take Emry shoe shopping again. Aside from a handful of needed pairs I’ve picked up for her at consignment sales (winter boots, summer play shoes, sandals for church), her shoes have always been gifts from aunts or a pair my mom sends her. I’ve never really asked more than, “Emry, do you like this pair?” when I pick one out. After my sister’s beagle chewed the straps off her tennis shoes, we took her to the store to buy another pair, upping the size so they’ll last her well until next spring. She tried on FIVE DIFFERENT PAIRS!!! I don’t go for character shoes yet, I was trying to watch the price, I figured she would want something different than her last pair (don’t kids usually?) and she needed something that would take a good beating for the next six or nine months. But who knew she was so picky?!?!?!

“No, Mama, those don’t feel right.”

“No, Mama, I don’t like green.”

She had my mom and sister rolling in the floor with laughter as well as another shopper who was amazed at how well she knows her own mind. And when she refused to pick out any of the pairs I lined up before her, I finally pulled off the shelf the exact pair the dog had just chewed and put one on her foot.

“Yes, Mama, I like those.”

Perhaps we should have gone ahead and bought her a lifetime supply of them…

Beto and Emry (wearing the infamous shoes).

My little girl also did quite some growing up while we were there. Climbing higher than she ever has, learning to swing the glider on the swingset herself, forming the letters in her name out of the wood blocks and cleaning up after herself. Like when she had an accident during her “rest time” one day. She was playing and the floor in her aunt’s room is thankfully wood, so she found some wipes to clean it up and even changed her own panties. I would have never known if she hadn’t put her panties on inside out which led me to search for the puddle she didn’t completely clean up. But the funniest moment was one morning at the table as she happily sang her favorite song a half-a-dozen times with Beto joining in as he could: “A, B, C, D, E, F, G…” After the sixth or seventh rendition in slow, regular and super-fast speed, my mom laughed and said, “Emry, now you just need to learn to say them backwards.” A thoughtful look passed over Emry’s face. She’s just recognizing counting backwards for a countdown, so I thought she might be thinking through her ABCs that way. But then she turned around backwards in her chair and started singing the ABCs again. Yes, we all roared in laughter. Smart alleck.

Zoo highlight: feeding the flamingos!

Grandpa caught her a butterfly – she was ecstatic!

 

So happy the adored Unc showed up for a few days, too!