I met “Cousin Daniel” for the first time at our wedding. I knew about him. Ed asked him to be one of his groomsmen. For that matter, I even knew his suit size since I ordered the suits (although, don’t ask me what it was now). Having not met anyone in Ed’s family outside this parents, brother and brother’s wife and kids; I’m not sure what I expected. Besides, I was getting married that weekend. I had a lot on my mind.
But I liked Daniel. A year younger than me, he had been married for maybe ten years and had two kids – Chase and Molly. Although not real tall, he was real big. I mean really broad shoulders and chest and just…big. Like a football player. And really nice. You could just tell. Funny, with an easy smile. Joked with Ed and Ed’s brother David about “inside” things. Gentle and sweet. And sweaty. At least, that’s the way we last saw him. But that will happen when you Saran wrap a person’s car on a warm June day. (Namely, mine.)
A few months later, we made the promised long-weekend trip down to North Carolina to meet Ed’s family. Namely, his aunts Sandy and Carol and Carol’s kids...and their kids. By this time, I had been around Ed’s family a bit more and had expectations…rather low ones. In fact, I’ve never been more nervous about a trip. Or wanted to avoid one more. But I was happily surprised. And learned the lesson that you do not base your spouse’s extended family on your direct in-laws. At least, not in my case.
Daniel was there with his wife and kids, teasing his two sisters and playing with his niece and nephews. Asked how I liked being married to his cousin. Just a fun, sweet, all-around nice guy. Not very long after that, we found out they were pregnant with number three – a happy surprise all around when little Noah arrived. But then life happened.
Actually, that’s a simplification of the terrible things Daniel has been through over the past two or three years of his life. Things no one should have to figure out how to respond to. Honestly, things beyond the reach of one’s imagination. At least, in the world in which I live. I often wondered how he was maneuvering it all and prayed for him and his kids. For suffice to say, his wife left him. But not for another man.
And then today. Ed called me just after the kids got up this morning. He was stammering things that didn’t make a lot of sense at first. He was crying. I had concluded his Aunt Sandy had died and was ready for that news…but, no. It was Daniel. He and little three-year-old Noah had been killed in a car accident just the night before. And, yes, I cried.
Ed leaves for North Carolina first thing Sunday morning to mourn the loss of not just a cousin but a dear friend. And a little boy we never met. I’d like to be there to show support to that family, to show that I really liked Daniel even though I hardly knew him. But some people are like that. Because we’re family. Not by our own blood. Not even by marriage. But by Christ’s blood. So, there is hope. And there is victory. This sin-cursed world has thrown some awful things at Daniel and little Noah. But not anymore. They have triumphed. They are with their Savior. They will suffer no more. And that is true joy.
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