Things I Don't Understand

There are many things in this world I don’t understand. Some of them I simply don’t care to. But, in light of our world “stepping out” of “stay-at-home/shelter-in-place” orders, it seems to have gotten even crazier. For instance:

How is herding everyone through what resembles cattle barriers into one entrance of a store remotely helping “social distancing”? Not only is it pushing people into a funnel (whereas just letting them use any old entrance allows for much more space), but blocking off other said entrances causes a serious fire hazard. And, personally, I am much more scared of dying in a fire than getting sick.

I just got an e-mail that our dental insurance provider is now providing virtual dental visits for things like chipped teeth, aching gums, etc.! Which I am still trying to figure out. Because when I get into the portal, do I stick my phone or laptop into my mouth so they can see said chip? What if my phone doesn’t fit? My laptop certainly doesn’t. And if they agree the tooth is chipped, how do they go about fixing it over the phone? Sometimes my imagination is just so limited…

Since I work with people who design and inspect parks, they’re on all kinds of park emails. Our park and recreation specialist forwarded one to us this week that was a link to the City of Pittsburgh’s Facebook page. The mayor (who, I’m afraid, I don’t even know words to describe let alone would be allowed to use them) has declared that no pools will be opened this summer. No summer sports leagues. No large events. No day camps. Playgrounds would eventually open. And maybe splash pads. Tennis and pickleball courts, but playing singles is suggested. Sports fields can be used if social distancing is followed. (And if I were a parent in Pittsburgh, I’d drop my kids off at his office every day to put up with them since they can’t go anywhere else.) Anyhow, a couple of days later, I was on the Port Authority website looking for something. The Port Authority runs all the mass transit in Pittsburgh, which (aside from a “T-line” that only runs from a few locations in the South Hills to the sports stadiums) is mainly buses. Lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of buses. More buses than I’ve ever seen in one city (which is actually the whole county) and they are alwaysfull. They were opening all routes that same week. Because, you know, cramming people into an enclosed capsule is WAY safer than allowing kids to splash in a pool.

My obgyn’s office was probably one of the last to go to everyone wearing face masks or calling from the parking lot to let them know you were there for your appointment (which I am very grateful for). My doctor hasn’t made a big deal of the virus, asking only once if I had any concerns. And there are certainly a few more rules in place when I actually give birth. (Sadly, they include no visitors and I am disappointed on behalf of Emry and Ethan that they cannot come to the hospital to meet their new little sibling.) But the last time I was there, the director of the facility and his assistant were in the lobby laying down tape six feet apart so patients can stand in their proper place while awaiting to get their temp checked before proceeding with the nurse to the room awaiting them for their check-up. But since thy don’t allow more than one or two patients into the building at a time (remember, we’re all in the parking lot waiting), I am at a loss to figure out why tape is needed on the floor for ten people to wait in line…

Farmer’s markets are opening again, which is good. I got an email in my work email from some Allegheny County organization with “helpful” rules from yet some other doctor who feels the need to add their two-cents to the subject. She began that farmer’s markets are essential to the good health and maintenance of our families (even though jobs are being taken away so we can’t afford to buy food, but I guess that’s beside the point). But, please, maintain “physical distancing”. (Not social because we’re social people and that, too, is essential to our wellbeing…although not encouraged.) Meanwhile, I’m trying to figure out how to shout six feet to the vegetable man that I would like that tomato not the other one. And if the jelly person tosses me a jar of preserves from six feet away but it falls short, crashing into a gazillion pieces on the concrete – do I still have to pay for it?

As Ed heads back to work, Subaru has put in place lots of safety precautions (like everyone else). But, rest assured, the smoking huts outside the entrances are still open. Just please maintain social distancing while smoking. And put your mask back on after your break. Because smoking and second-hand smoke isn’t remotely dangerous…but the virus is!