Career: SAHM

I’ve not quite figured out why we ask for the parents’ occupations on our summer registration forms (except we’re always trying to find a couple of nurses for the week). But we do. And you get all kinds: dentist, engineer, postal worker, pastor, etc. Sometimes I wonder if parents are trying to impress me. The one I read today said: Vice President. I had to wonder: Vice President of what? A dog pound? A farmer’s union? A Fortune 500 company? Who knows.

Last summer I saw one I had to Google. The mother had put down under her name SAHM. I had to find out what that stood for. Simply put: Stay At Home Mom. I texted Ed that I wanted to be a SAHM when I grew up. His answer: A what? A STAY AT HOME MOM!!!!

I’ve been slowly reading the book Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney. It’s based upon the seven instructions Paul gives to Titus concerning women found in Titus 2. The last chapter I read was entitled “The Honor of Working at Home”. She began the chapter with an antidote of her sitting in the doctor’s office filling out forms for her youngest child. When she got to the space where she was to put her occupation, she paused. Why? Because she felt almost ashamed to write down “housewife”. Ashamed???? I would ask the nurse for a brighter color pen and write it in bold letters so no one would miss it. How could anyone feel ashamed of living out the highest calling of womanhood?

But, as she explained, we live in a culture where stay at home moms are put to shame. If women don’t have an equal (sorry – better) career than men, bring home just as much (sorry – more) money than their husbands and spend just as little (sorry – less) time with their kids; they are considered failures. As Mrs. Mahaney quoted from Mrs. Dorothy Patterson:

                        “Much of the world would agree that being a housekeeper is acceptable as long as you are not caring for your own home; treating men with attentive devotion would also be right as long as the man is the boss in the office and not your husband; caring for children would even be deemed heroic service for which presidential awards could be given as long as the children are someone else’s and not your own.”

Yes, that is the world in which we live.

Now, granted, I am a woman with a career. If you can define administrative office positions in various locations a “career”. But that is because (until two months from now) I don’t have a husband. And only God knows if I will ever have kids. And not being the sit-at-home-for-thirty-four-years-and-wait-for-Prince-Charming-to-come-on-his-great-white-charger type, I have worked. And the Lord has directed me in different directions as He has grown my skills. And, yes, I am looking for a job in Pittsburgh because I’m also not the stay-at-home-and-clean-the-bathroom-for-the-tenth-time-today-because-I’ve-nothing-else-to-do-while-Ed-is-at-work-all-day type. Not that I couldn’t stay at home and just be his wife if that’s what he wanted, but he and I have agreed that I am free to work in the job God leads me to until we have children. Then I will be a SAHM. (Yea – I get promoted to an acronym! Doesn’t that sound grandly important?)

Yes, the Lord has different paths for each of us in life. Yes, there are moms that have to work outside the home for a variety of reasons. And, no, it is not ever good to compare your situation with someone else’s. But when I look at my 34 years and compare them to my dearest friend Allyson’s 34 years, I fall WAY short. I have to use my two hands and both feet to count all the places I’ve lived, I barely managed to concise my long resume into one page, and Ed’s going to kill me when he has to move all my books to Pittsburgh. But Allyson has to use two hands to count her seven wonderful children, she’s moving onto her feet as she counts her years of marriage (eleven in June!) and she can make a little house into a grand home. She has eternal little souls under her care every day. She has a job that is 24/7. She falls into bed much more exhausted than I do and has to get up within a few hours to feed a 1-week old. Although I pray the Lord uses me in the lives I touch every day, my life does not compare. Do I envy her? No. I admire her. And I inspire to be like her.

Today on a registration form, a mom wrote under name “Stay at home Mom” but then added in parenthesis “and a good one” as if she had to prove to me that what she does in worthwhile. Stay at home moms, you don’t have to prove to anyone that what you do is worthwhile. I rise up and praise my mom for staying at home and being the example she has been to her husband, children and others around her. Stay at home moms, you don’t ever need to be ashamed. God wrote nearly a whole chapter in Proverbs devoted solely to you! So, get out that colored pen and write down your occupation boldly. Because this world can never repay the debt it owes to women who sacrifice everything for their families.