Growing Up

When I was home, I took my “baby” brother out for breakfast one morning and we got to talking about – what else? – basketball. He was talking about his teammate and I made an observation. One winter I assisted in coaching a team of 5 to 8 year olds. We tried to teach them the basics of the game – shooting, dribbling, passing, basic rules – but they all had one object: get the ball. They might not know what to do with it once they got it, but above all else they wanted to hold that ball. Then they grow up to play varsity and guess what? You have to teach them to rebound. No longer is the object of the game to get the ball.

The apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:11 tells us, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” And, it’s true, we have to grow up. We have to put away childish fits and days full of play in exchange for acceptance and responsibility. And while we would never want to remain a child all our living days, sometimes it would be heavenly to be a child again.

I mean, what about our childhood dreams? I played with my dolls for hours, dressing them and putting them down for naps while I “cooked” and “cleaned house” for my “husband” to arrive home. I took my dolls “shopping” and was their “teacher” at “school”. (We’ll skip over the fact I got into a bit of trouble at times for such things if I decided to “cook” with materials not qualified as playthings.) All very natural for a little girl whose deepest desires are to be a wife and mother. Maybe if I had been more practical I would have played office and put “files” in alphabetical order. But I didn’t dream of spending most of my adult life behind a desk. (Who does?) Now I sit here and wish I had a doll to go home and dress...and dream.

I have to confess I didn’t spent much time imagining I was a princess, but I did play dress up. I imagined myself on stage in my mother’s old sparkling dance leotards. Then I caught the dream of being a gymnast and spent hours turning cartwheels and spinning about on my swing set with the fanciful idea I’d be the next Mary Lou Retton. I could just see myself in a red, white and blue leotard receiving a gold medal. Sadly, I shall never fulfill that dream. But it would be nice to get up from this desk and turn a cartwheel in the parking lot. (Yes, I can still turn cartwheels.)

I got a letter from a little friend of mine in New Hampshire who wanted to know all about how to get a book published because she loves to write. The truth is it costs money to publish as I did, something I could afford only as a co-writer. When I was her age, though, I didn’t know that. I spent hours scribbling, dreaming of being a published writer who could do nothing but scribble all day long. Now that dream hasn’t dissipated. I still imagine myself in a little cabin in the mountains with a faithful Golden Retriever, sitting before my computer writing words someone thinks worth publishing even if it’s not a best-seller. But with a fulltime job and everything else I’m involved in, I’ve hardly time to write at all let alone send out fruitless letters to publishing companies. But I will tell my little friend to keep writing. Who knows…with some work, dreams can come true.

It’s a little bit sad we have to grow up. We have to put away our dolls, we stop chasing balls and we know our backs would give out if we tried a walk-over. But I’m speaking to the choir when I say we shouldn’t give up childhood fun entirely. It’s not wrong to keep writing and hoping. Or build a dollhouse in hopes God might still bless a nearly-32-year-old-woman with a husband and so little girls of her own to enjoy it. And things like mini-golf, or picnics, or puzzles are just as fun now as they were over 20 years ago.

So, maybe it should be my New Year’s Resolution to enjoy my life a little bit more. Relax when I get home from work, keep my Saturdays free to do something that will make me laugh and not take my responsibilities quite so seriously (a defect of a firstborn). After all, the same God who told us to put away childish things also said, “Laughter doeth good like a medicine.” And some days I could use a whole bottle of that!