When I was a little girl...

...I wanted to grow up. I'm not sure why.

This week I've been reminded a lot about when I was a little girl. For in my bedroom sits a beautiful dollhouse. Every time I enter my room, I smile. It's what I always wanted. And I'm sorely tempted to play with it - only, I don't have any dolls for it yet. But I will. Then I can sit them in the dining room, and have them cooking in the kitchen, and let the children play in their nursery upstairs. Even at 32 years old, I look forward to playing with my dollhouse...and wonder if I shall ever have a little girl of my own to enjoy it with me. But I usually think that's too much to hope for.

There's this tree in our yard that just this year sprouted fruit. I don't ever remember it doing that before, but as I don't usually pay attention to plants maybe I just missed it last year. Have no clue what kind of fruits it's giving us. I think they might be some kind of pear, but in bite-sized. Which means you probably don't want to eat them. However, I was thinking if I were a little girl again I would pull my plastic dishes out and cook with them. Pies, stews, casseroles, cookies...little girls can cook any dish with anything that closely resembles something edible. Then I'd dress up my dolls and we'd eat together: Amy, Katy, Kate, Ruth Ann, Chris Ann, Rainbow Bright...some of them have passed into doll heaven and the rest are in my parent's attic but who can forget their first family?

I was one of those kids that spent much of her time wanting to grow up. I was tired of practicing. I wanted to be a real librarian, and a real teacher, and a real wife, and a real mommy. As half the people are earth can contest, being grown up doesn't look anything like I practiced for. My only library is my personal one, 90% of which is in Indiana and half of which is in boxes in the attic. I've never taught in a real school, although I love my kids at church and my years of tutoring. Obviously the wife and mommy is not quite clear on the radar. I certainly don't live in my beautiful Victorian dollhouse (such a thing doesn't exist in Texas anyhow), and I don't cook much because I don't have a family to share it with (although Haley and I help each other eat - for days! - when we do cook).

Still, it's fun to have a dollhouse in my bedroom...and it's fun to imagine what I would cook with my orange plastic dishes if I had them anymore. Because even though I am grown up, at heart I'm still a little girl sometimes. :)